Are you terrified of your computer?  Do you feel out of
place and overwhelmed when your friends or co-workers
start spouting reams and reams of technical jargon that
you will never understand?  Then this article is for you!
We'll help you get over your fear of technical terminology
by tickling your funny bone.  We'll start with some
definitions that SHOULD be true, and we hope are entertaining.

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your State-of-the-art
   computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error - "Hello, I want to buy a computer and money 
   is no object."
GUI (pronounced "gooey") - What your computer becomes
  after spilling your coffee on it.
Computer Chip - Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass
   quantities while programming.
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors
   easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by most computer
   salesmen.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force business men 
   to work at home, on vacation and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical
   deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your
   current software.

                          --END--
