1234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789 =============================================================================== MMr ,dMMb. MMMMMMW MMMMMMMMMM. W7M MM0 MMM MMMM M0 MM8 MMM MM M MM, MM . MMM MB MM M MM .M MMZ .M 7M; M MrMM MM MM MM MMMM WM XMMMMMMM XM MM XMMM ,M MMM8i MM MM MMMr MS MM MM MM2MM MM0 MMM MMM MM M MM MMMMM MMMMM .M M SM SMMMMMMM M0 M M; .M MM M MM M 8M MM MM MM M0 M MM MMMM MMMMMMMM MMM MM Mi M; 2MM0 M MMMM MZ 0MMMM. MMMM2MM MMrMM MMMMMMM@ MMMMM MM XMMMM MMMM M MM :MMMMM M; MMMM MXMMMMMMMM MMMM M MMMMM M720MMM 0 M; MM MM Mi MM MM SM M0 iMMMW MM MM MMM MM M@ MMMM MM ;MZ MMM FFiXMaster(#60577)'s in-depth MMM combat familiar guide. MM M ZM MM MM MM An adventurer is he... are you? MM MM MM MM M MM MM 8M. MM MM 2M MM MM .M, MM MM MM MM MS XM8 MMM MM Email - FFIXMaster[at]Gmail[dot]com =============================================================================== =============================================================================== Version 1.0 Last updated Nov. 29, 2005. Copyright 2005 Joe Lazenby. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.) Contents ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.) Contents [You are here] 2.) Legal stuff [The boring bit] 3.) Version history [The not-as-boring bit] 4.) Disclaimer [It disclaims things] 5.) Introduction [Stuff you probably don't care about] 6.) Familiar Basics [Stuff you probably already know] 7.) Familiar Statistics [Stuff you probably came here for] 7a.) Angry Goat-----------------------------------[7/10] 7b.) Clockwork Grapefruit-------------------------[6/10] 7c.) Cocoabo--------------------------------------[8/10] 7d.) Ghost Pickle on a Stick----------------------[9/10] 7e.) Gravy Fairy (Elemental)----------------------[5/10] 7f.) Grue (Best)----------------------------------[10/10] 7g.) Grue (Worst)---------------------------------[9/10] 7h.) Howling Balloon Monkey-----------------------[5/10] 7i.) Killer Bee-----------------------------------[1/10] 7j.) MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech------------------[8/10] 7k.) Mosquito-------------------------------------[1/10] 7l.) Sabre-Toothed Lime---------------------------[7/10] 7m.) Spooky Pirate Skeleton-----------------------[7/10] 7n.) Stab Bat-------------------------------------[3/10] 7o.) Star Starfish--------------------------------[8/10] 7p.) Whirling Maple Leaf--------------------------[3/10] 8.) To-Do list [Stuff I'm working on, or will be soon] 9.) Thanks [My thank-yous to people that helped] NOTE: All bracketed numbers are simply my own personal view on each familiar's usefulness. These views in no way reflect those of Jick, Mr Skullhead, or Mr Skullhead's mom. Thank you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2.) Legal stuff ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This guide may be not be reproduced under any circumstances except for personal, private use. It may not be placed on any website or otherwise distributed publicly without advance written permission. Use of this guide on any other website or as a part of any public display is strictly prohibited, and a violation of copyright. The following sites have permission to post this guide: -http://kol.coldfront.net/ -http://www.thekolwiki.com/ -http://www.gamefaqs.com/ If this guide is found on any site other than those above, please contact me and let me know. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3.) Version History ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Version 0.01. October 09, 2005. Guide not even started yet. Raw data just beginning to be compiled. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Version 0.03. October 24, 2005. All data compiled, calculations just started. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Version 0.05 November 29, 2005. All calculations completed, after a couple minor set backs. Guide itself finally started. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Version 0.90 December 01, 2005. LOTS done in the last two days. Everything up to Familiar Statistics has been completed, and the statistics themselves have finally been started and are over half finished now. Shouldn't be long now before initial release. Late night update: Wow, 'bout 90% ready now... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Version 1.0 December 02, 2005. Didn't add a damn thing today, 'cept the last line in my Thanks. Submission time, now. <3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4.) Disclaimer ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This guide will very likely contain spoilers. If you don't want spoilers then I suggest clicking that [x] at the top right corner of the screen and going to play with your familiars yourself. If, however, you want to learn more about the gay-mechanics of combat familiars, please read on. Also note that this guide is as yet incomplete, and is going to be updated a good many more times before it's done -- bear with me here, eh? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5.) Introduction ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, so, I got bored one night and wanted to read a guide on combat familiars, so I asked around, and it turns out there isn't one. So, instead of reading one, I'm writing one. Anyone that knows me knows how anal I am about detail, so I hope that none of you can think of anything more this guide needs, aside from the things on my To-Do list. And of course, if you -do- think of something I should add to the guide that I'm not already working on, please drop me a Kmail or an Email and let me know. All my contact info is at the top of the guide, just make sure if you send an Email that you add "Familiar Guide" or the like in the title, so I know to put off reading it as long as humanly possible. ;) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6.) Familiar Basics ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Welcome to the boringer than boring bit. Mostly because you all know everything I'm about to explain. You can probably scroll past this. <3 Familiars, what are they? Well, they're 'pets', that you keep in a Familiar- Gro(tm) Terrarium. Every time they kill an enemy, they gain 1 'kill', which is Familiar-speak for "experience point', and when they get enough 'kills' they gain a 'pound', which means 'level'. You can also go to the Cake-Shaped Arena, and enter your familiars in contests against other NPC familiars to gain 'kills'. Each familiar is better at certain contests than others, and if you're good/lucky enough, you can get 5 kills for the cost of 1 adventure. Now, I thought about adding each familiar's stats in the arena to my guide, but thought it was a silly thing to do, seeing as I'm only listing combat familiars. Sure, if you wanna raise your 12lb Goat, you can check its stats, but what good will that do you with a Leprechaun, Dice, and Dreidl in the arena near your poundage? So don't email me about that one, eh? ;) Every familiar has a special item that it alone can equip; most of them are Weight-type equipment, that alter the weight of your familiar five pounds in the favourable direction. However, some familiars have Special-type equipment, that do something completely unique to them. I will of course be listing the items and their effects, and where to get them. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7.) Familiar Statistics ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Finally, the meat of the guide(Haw haw, meat), and what you've all come to read about. Each subsection will have all the info you ever wanted on each familiar, and maybe some info you didn't want!(I couldn't help myself) +======================================================+ |NOTE: -All- following statistics are from familiars at| | forty(40) pounds, plus familiar-specific equipment. | | Yes, I know, that's not a great test for NS'ing, | | I fully plan on doing another entire familiar test | | at twenty(20) pounds, plus equipment, for NS'ing. | +======================================================+ ______________________________ 7a.) Angry Goat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bearded quadruped Ill-tempered, furry, horny Butts heads with buttheads. Egg: goat How to get: [paste] anticheese + goat cheese Equipment: prosthetic forehead Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Special: Anti-Barrrnicle Notes: Standard attack familiar, nothing special Attack percentage: 100% Hit percentage: 91% Minimum damage: 23 Maximum damage: 46 Average damage over 100 rounds: 32.34 Average damage counting only hits: 35.53 ______________________________ 7b.) Clockwork Grapefruit ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ultraviolent, this horrorshow familiar spills red, red kroovy. Egg: unwound clockwork grapefruit How to get: [cook] clockwork endoskeleton + grapefruit Equipment: false eyelashes Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Standard attack familiar, also changes fumble text. Attack percentage: 52% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 22 Maximum damage: 50 Average damage over 100 rounds: 18.87 Average damage counting only hits: 36.28 ______________________________ 7c.) Cocoabo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chocolate feathers Healing, fighting scavenging Give monsters the bird. Egg: cocoa egg How to get: [cook]large cocoa eggshell fragment + large cocoa eggshell fragment Equipment: chocolate spurs Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Causes damage, gives meat, heals equal amounts of HP/MP, confuses enemies. Occasionally gets Limit Break, doubling effectiveness. Activity percentage: 32% Confuse percentage: 10% Attack percentage: 6% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 46 Maximum damage: 94 Average damage over 100 rounds: 3.74 Average damage counting only hits: 112.33 Heal percentage: 8% Minimum heal: 51 Maximum heal: 99 Average heal over 100 rounds = 5.55 Average heal counting only hits = 69.37% Meat Gain percentage: 8% Minimum Meat: 157 Maximum Meat: 376 Average meat over 100 rounds = 17.84 Average meat counting only hits = 223 ______________________________ 7d.) Ghost Pickle on a Stick ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Salty, translucent floats above, its only need to lay dill smack down. Egg: ghost pickle on a stick How to get: [cook] spectral pickle + skewer Equipment: skewer-mounted razor blade Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Standard attack familiar, also has Caustic Juice, which lowers enemy level. Activity percentage: 100% Juice percentage: 32% Attack percentage: 68% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 27 Maximum damage: 52 Average damage over 100 rounds: 26.96 Average damage counting only hits: 39.64 ______________________________ 7e.) Gravy Fairy(Elemental) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Effeminate shroom Deals hot damage, loots monsters, Does it all with style. Getting cold in here Watch how monsters drop their loot! Iced, iced, baby. Word. Getting hard to breathe, monsters lose their loot (and lunch.) I guess it's worth it. Egg: pregnant flaming mushroom Egg: pregnant frozen mushroom Egg: pregnant stinky mushroom How to get: Muscle-sign subquest(One per ascension) Equipment: flaming glowsticks Equipment: iced-out bling Equipment: limburger biker boots Type(s): Weight How to get: Muscle-sign subquest(After aquiring all three mushrooms) Notes: Standard gravy fairy, also attacks with elemental damage. Attack percentage: 30% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 23 Maximum damage: 45 Average damage over 100 rounds: 10.14 Average damage counting only hits: 33.80 ______________________________ 7f.) Grue (Best) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In darkness is strength Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me Creature of the night. Egg: grue egg How to get: [strange leaflet] 'look behind chest' > 'look in hole' Equipment: moonglasses Type: Special (Allows Grue to be used on any day, regardless of moons, also adds ~3-5 damage to attacks) How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack. Notes: Standard attack familiar, becomes stronger the darker the moons are. Attack percentage: 100% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 33 Maximum damage: 63 Average damage over 100 rounds: 48.62 Average damage counting only hits: 48.62 ______________________________ 7g.) Grue (Worst) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In darkness is strength Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me Creature of the night. Egg: grue egg How to get: [strange leaflet] 'look behind chest' > 'look in hole' Equipment: moonglasses Type: Special (Allows Grue to be used on any day, regardless of moons, also adds ~3-5 damage to attacks) How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack. Notes: Standard attack familiar, becomes stronger the darker the moons are. Attack percentage: 100% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 25 Maximum damage: 45 Average damage over 100 rounds: 35.48 Average damage counting only hits: 35.48 ______________________________ 7h.) Howling Balloon Monkey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So full of hot air Inflatable simian Shockingly useful. Egg: balloon monkey How to get: [paste] balloon sword + long skinny balloon Notes: Standard attack familiar, also heals MP. MP heal percentage: 23% Minimum MP heal: 13 Maximum MP heal: 22 Average MP heal over 100: 4.06 Average HP heal counting only hits: 17.65 Attack percentage: 25% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 11 Maximum damage: 22 Average damage over 100 rounds: 4.17 Average damage counting only hits: 16.68 ______________________________ 7i.) Killer Bee ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hovers like a b ASCII and ye shall receive Several nasty stings. - Warpeth of Zonee Egg: baby killer bee How to get: [drop] Dungeons of Doom Equipment: brass stinger Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Standard attack familiar, also gives Mus substats at lower levels? Attack percentage: 29% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 1 Maximum damage: 22 Average damage over 100 rounds: 3.79 Average damage counting only hits: 13.06 ______________________________ 7j.) MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Iron giant? No. But the midget does bring game: laser, missile, stomp. Egg: deactivated MicroMechaMech How to get: [supertinker] clockwork claws + clockwork spine + clockwork key Equipment: targeting chip Type: Special (More likely to use torpedo attack) How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Standard attack familiar. Attack percentage: 100% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 15 Maximum damage: 50 Average damage over 100 rounds: 31.19 Average damage counting only hits: 31.19 ______________________________ 7k.) Mosquito ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From pest to helper A sucker for a good meal This blood's for you, man. Egg: mosquito larva How to get: [adventure] Spooky Forest Equipment: hypodermic needle Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Special: Anti-Angry Goat Notes: Heals you for however much damage it deals. Attack percentage: 20% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 1 Maximum damage: 20 Average damage over 100 rounds: 1.77 Average damage counting only hits: 8.85 ______________________________ 7l.) Sabre-Toothed Lime ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sharp and acidic Forget tequila and salt No bark but great bite. Egg: sabre-toothed lime cub How to get: [paste] sabre teeth + lime Equipment: tiny shaker of salt Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Special: Anti-Mosquito Notes: Standard attack familiar. Attack percentage: 100% Hit percentage: 80% Minimum damage: 26 Maximum damage: 47 Average damage over 100 rounds: 29.37 Average damage counting only hits: 36.71 ______________________________ 7m.) Spooky Pirate Skeleton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Undead swashbuckler With his sword and spookiness Who's your bone daddy? Egg: spooky pirate skeleton How to get: [use] pirate skull (with sunken chest, pirate pelvis and 8 skeleton bones in inventory) Equipment: blundarrrbus Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Standard attack familiar, also Arrrrs at enemies. Arrrr percentage: 26% Attack percentage: 74% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 25 Maximum damage: 47 Average damage over 100 rounds: 26.89 Average damage counting only hits: 36.33 ______________________________ 7n.) Stab Bat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Man, that's wicked sharp: Self-swinging bloodthirsty sword But it cuts both ways. Egg: rewinged stab bat How to get: [paste] one-winged stab bat + bat wing Equipment: shock collar Type: Special (Attack you less often) How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Standard attack familiar, also attacks you instead of the enemy, sometimes. Attack percentage: 100% Hit percentage: 69% Minimum damage: 22 Maximum damage: 47 Average damage over 100 rounds: 23.95 Average damage counting only hits: 34.71 Enemy attack percentage: 76% Enemy hit percentage: 69.73% Enemy minimum damage: 25 Enemy maximum damage: 47 Average Enemy damage over 100 rounds: 18.97 Average Enemy damage counting only hits: 35.79 Self attack percentage: 24% Self hit percentage: 66.66% Self minimum damage: 22 Self maximum damage: 41 Average Self damage over 100 rounds: 4.98 Average Self damage counting only hits: 31.12 ______________________________ 7o.) Star Starfish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Out of mojo blues? Do you believe in magic? Wish upon this star. Egg: star starfish How to get: [star chart] 6 stars + 4 lines Equipment: magnifying glass Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Heals MP equal to damage delt. Attack percentage: 25% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 25 Maximum damage: 48 Average damage over 100 rounds: 9.58 Average damage counting only hits: 38.32 ______________________________ 7p.) Whirling Maple Leaf ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A restoring touch Dead foes and the dirty ground That's what I'm aboot. Egg: maple leaf How to get: [paste] leaflet + maple syrup Equipment: tiny mountie hat Type: Weight How to get: Cake-shaped arena goodies sack Notes: Standard attack familiar, also has a chance of healing MP at the end of combat. MP heal percentage: 30% Minimum MP heal: 34 Maximum MP heal: 38 Average MP heal over 10 battles: 10.6 Average MP heal counting only hits: 35.33 Attack percentage: 30% Hit percentage: 100% Minimum damage: 23 Maximum damage: 46 Average damage over 100 rounds: 10.16 Average damage counting only hits: 33.86 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8.) To-Do list ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Top o' the list: Barrrnicle and Potato 40lb data. Not-quite Top o' the list: 20lb data for every familiar listed that doesn't have it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9.) Thanks ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First and foremost, I have to thank God... and by God, I mean Goddess, and by Goddess, I mean the Random Number Goddess, who rules all in the Kingdom of Loathing. She is a fickle Goddess at times, but she has been very kind to me, and deserves top mention in my guide. Next comes Jick, for being a nerd that wanted to grow up to be an elf and love the forest, because without him none of us would be in this game, or the Cult that Cares. After that, I think I'd have to thank Fusilliban, for starting me on the path that ended in my writing this guide. If you love it, make sure you also thank him. If you hate it, you can blame him. I've also gotta thank Teh Club, just for being an awesome clan in general while I was working on all this. You guys rawk. <3 Of course, thanks must go out to Kojoro for distracting me and giving me plenty of excuses to not write this. And if excuse-thanks must be given, then I've gotta thank another friend of mine, that doesn't play KoL, but offered to do all the calculations for me, and it took him two months to do it. He wanted head, all he got was this paragraph. And finally, a big thanks goes to Zalan, who proofread this for me, 'cause I was being all paranoid and kept thinking I was missing something. Goodnight, morning, whatever to all you guide readers!