CALENDAR FAQ An FAQ on the Days, Months, Years and Moon Phases of Time in Kingdom of Loathing Copyright 2005, Marshall Tunstall. Version 1 You can contact me on GameFAQs on any board I visit, most reliably the Kingdom of Loathing board, as AstroFlameX. You can private message me on Kingdom of Loathing as Astro Seraia, or talk to me in Valhalla when I'm online. You can email me at AstroFlameX@gmail.com. You can instant message me on AIM at AstroFlameX, on Y! at AstroFlameX, or on MSN at AstroFlameX@gmail.com. If, for some ungodly reason, you can't get me at ANY of the above places, I occasionally play StarCraft under AstroFlameX on the East Coast. You have no excuse not to be able to get a hold of me, really. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION ONE - Table of Contents ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I. Table of Contents II. Update History III. Introduction IV. Moon Phases V. Calendar VI. Holidays VII. Legal Crap VIII. Thanks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION TWO - Update History ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As of now, there are no updates. The version of this guide you are reading is the first I have written. If you have any reason to believe that you are not reading the final version of this guide, check GameFAQs (www.gamefaqs.com) for the latest version. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION THREE - Introduction ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello. If you are reading this guide, you probably are either interested in or a player of Kingdom of Loathing. If you are not interested in the game, this is not the guide for you. Maybe you should go play Runescape or something. You don't care about this section and most likely will not read it, but it's my duty to put it here anyway. This guide will contain a detailed description of how time works in the Kingdom of Loathing, and allow anyone interested to quickly and easily look up whatever information they are looking for on the subject. And there will be a few jokes here and there. Like the one in the last sentence of that last paragraph. Tee hee. I really think you get the idea behind this, so onwards to the FAQ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION FOUR - Moon Phases ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the world of Kingdom of Loathing, many, many things revolve around the phases of the moons. Loathing has too moons, Ronald and Grimace, which I can only assume are named after the McDonald's characters. Which is pretty clever. It's also worth mentioning somewhere that Ronald increases by one stage every day, and Grimace does so every two days. So a Ronald cycle takes eight days and a Grimace cycle takes sixteen. Anyways, here is a detailed list of what the two moons do. --- STAT DAYS I'm sure you already know about the three main stats of KoL: Muscle, Mysticality and Moxie. Depending on the phases of the moons, certain days will be stat days. These days are Muscle Day, Mysticality Day and Moxie Day, and there are always two per lunar cycle. It is Muscle Day whenever Grimace is full (entirely white). On Muscle Day, all muscle stat gains will be increased by 50%, be they from the gym, a stat boosting item (chest of the Bonerdagon, meat globe), regular adventuring, or even the leaflet code. If you are a muscle class or need to gain muscle fast, you should save up all of your adventures and use them on a Muscle Day. It is Mysticality Day whenever Ronald is full (entirely white). On Mysticality Day, all mysticality stat gains will be increased by 50%, be they from the gym, a stat boosting item (chest of the Bonerdagon, meat globe), regular adventuring, or even the leaflet code. If you are a mysticality class or need to gain mysticality fast, you should save up all of your adventures and use them on a Mysticality Day. It is Moxie Day when either both moons are new (entirely black) or both moons are waning crescents (both moons are all black except the last fourth, which is lit up). On Moxie Day, all moxie stat gains will be increased by 50%, be they from the gym, a stat boosting item (chest of the Bonerdagon, meat globe), regular adventuring, or even the leaflet code. If you are a moxie class or need to gain moxie fast, you should save up all of your adventures and use them on a Moxie Day. --- TALISMAN OF BAIO If you have a Talisman of Baio, you're either a fuggin lucky bastard, or you're rich, and therefore shouldn't have to read this. But I'll include it anyways. If you have a Talisman of Baio equipped, you will gain a stat increase. To determine how much, count how many fourths of each moon are lit up. If Ronald is 3/4 lit up and Grimace is 1/2 lit up, then that would be 5. Multiply that number by 10, and that's the percent your stats will be increased by. In our example, 50%. Note that ALL stats will be increased by this much, and that they DO stack. So if you had three equipped, and were on the day of our example, you would have a 150% increase to all stats. And you should give me one for writing this wonderful FAQ to tell you what it does. =) --- BLOOD OF THE WERESEAL Blood of the Wereseal is sold in the Smackateria, the clan store of muscle classes. Here's is how you find your stat gains when using it. Add together the fourths of the moon that are lit up, and subtract 4. Multiply whatever number you get by 25, and you will gain (or lose) that percent of your muscle. Yes, on certain days you can lose up to 100% of your muscle, so consult the moons (and this guide) before using any of this item. --- GRUE FIGHTINGNESS The familiar, the Grue, which is found in the Strange Leaflet, will only fight on days when the total number of moon fourths is less than or equal to four. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION FIVE - Calendar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kingdom of Loathing's calendar consists of twelve months like ours. However, each month only lasts eight days, resulting in there being around four Kingdom of Loathing years in a single Earth year. The first day of the year is Jarlsuary 1st. Here are the months, with annotations beside them. Jarlsuary - Sounds like January, in honor of Saint Jarlsberg. Frankuary - Sounds like February, with the name Frank thrown it. Starch - Sounds like March, also, starch is starch. April - April. Jick's humor led him to throw in one of our months. Martinus - Starts like May, has Martini thrown in. Bill - Uh, it's Bill. It's one syllable, I guess, just like June. Bor - In honor of Saint Boris. <_< It's short like July... Petemeber - In honor of Saint Sneaky Pete. Sounds nothing like August. Carlvember - Sounds like September, with Carl thrown in. Porktober - Sounds like October, with Pork thrown in. Boozember - Sounds like November, with Booze thrown in. Dougtember - Sounds like December, with Doug thrown in. Hurray. Many of the holidays and other events occur on certain days corresponding to the Kingdom of Loathing date, not the Earth one. If at any time you need to find out what the Kingdom of Loathing date is, go into your clan and look on the calendar. See? That calendar has another purpose besides giving you adventures. If you don't have a clan, get out of my FAQ, you outlaw. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION SIX - Holidays ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Kingdom of Loathing, there are six annual holidays. The meaning of annual changes between some of them though, as five take place on a certain day of the Kingdom of Loathing calendar, and the other on a day of the Earth calendar. Here are details about each one. --- SAINT SNEAKY PETE'S DAY Saint Sneaky Pete's Day occurs once every Kingdom of Loathing year, on Jarlsuary 8th, to be precise. The first one occurred on Saint Patrick's Day, 2005, which happened to be Jarlsuary 8th, and thus the following ones fall on the same Kingdom of Loathing day. If you have any information on what events occurred on either of the past Saint Sneaky Pete's Day, please notify me. --- SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY Valentine's Day occurs once every Kingdom of Loathing year, on Frankuary 4th. The first occurred on Valentine's Day, 2005, which happened to be Frankuary 4th, and thus the others followed on the same day. I have no other information on this day. If you have any, please notify me. This FAQ was written by A s t r o F l a m e X. Just an attempt to catch any FAQ thieves. --- OYSTER EGG DAY Same type of deal here. It occurs every April 2nd, the first was on Easter, 2005, and the others came on every following April 2nd. On Oyster Egg Day, hunters may purchase oyster baskets from the Demon Market in the Market Square. Then, when they adventured, they would randomly obtain an oyster egg from the adventure, the type varying from location to location. I doubt I will ever include a list of what the eggs do or where they are found here, as the latter at least changes every Oyster Egg Day, and this isn't really an Oyster Egg FAQ. Any addition information is welcome (give it to me, or I'll eat your soul). --- HALLOWEEN How unoriginal. Same thing as the other three. First occurred Halloween, 2004, which happened to be Porktober 8th, and the rest came tumbling after. On Halloween, if you are wearing a costume, then when you adventure you will (or is it may? Could someone confirm whether it happens every adventure, or at random?) receive a Halloween adventure, in which you receive candy. WITH RAZOR BLADES IN IT. Not really. That would be very awesome though. Also, if you are wearing certain costumes, you may/will also get another type of candy. I've missed all the Halloweens and am going by what I've gathered, so please, correct all that is wrong. This is the people's FAQ! --- FEAST OF BORIS Blah, blah, blah. I'm sick of this. The Feast of Boris occurs every Boozember 7th, which happened to be Thanksgiving, 2004. HA! I TRICKED YOU! Actually, I'm fairly sure this is Kingdom of Loathing's Thanksgiving, but the first one apparently wasn't a Thanksgiving. Oddly enough. Also odd is that Saint Boris and Saint Sneaky Pete have holidays, yet Saint Jarlsberg does not. Weird. I'd be mad if I didn't hate Mysticality classes. Jarlsberg is cool though. He's cool. On topic, during the Feast of Boris you can eat twice as much food, and for some reason anything with cranberries in it is much better on this day. Again, correct anything wrong here. --- CRIMBO Ah, yes. Crimbo. If your favorite Kingdom of Loathing holiday isn't Crimbo, then you either haven't been playing Kingdom of Loathing very long, or you have some incurable, fatal illness. Crimbo is so special that it only occurs once a year in Earth time, and it corresponds to Christmas. On Crimbo 2003, every player got a free Crimbo Pressie. When you used this Crimbo Pressie, you received a fruitcake and some wrapping paper. At first most of you would be angry that all you got was a one time use food item, that was also crappy and gross, but upon closer inspection, it turned out that you could smith the wrapping paper (I guess you stick it in the furnace, pull it out and pound it with your hammer) into either a Crimbo Hat, a Crimbo Pants or a Crimbo Sword. When wearing all of these items together, you would complete the now sought after Crimbo Costume. On Crimbo 2004, every person got a free Crimbo Stocking. When you opened the stocking, the would get a nice Small Crimbo Pressie, in addition to a gingerbread bugbear, candy cane and eggnog, which I assume are all just regular food items. When you opened the Small Crimbo Pressie, you would get either an Imitation Nice Watch, which when equipped grants three more adventures every rollover, a Hanukkimbo Dreidl, which is a familiar similar to the Personal Raincloud or Cocoabo, or a tiny plastic sword, which is needed to craft the best drinks in the game, and lasts forever. You also received a bow, which could be smithed into either a Bowler, Bowlegged Pants or a Bow Staff, which when all worn together became the Bow Tux costume. You have to wonder why no one in the Kingdom celebrates Hanukkimbo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION SEVEN - Legal Crap ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don't steal my FAQ. I worked hard on this. Do whatever you want to it. Read it, print it, use it, marry it, sacrifice it to your pagan gods, just make sure that my name is on it. If you claim this as your own, you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and such, and I will get some extra, needed money. All characters, holidays, and anything having to do with Kingdom of Loathing are the property of Asymmetric Productions. This FAQ may only be found on GameFAQs. If you're reading this anywhere else, tell me, and I will reward you with your own, personal, poorly-made-Sony-product elemental. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION EIGHT - Thanks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'd like to thank a few people who made this FAQ possible: CJayC - For creating the greatest gaming site on the net, GameFAQs. For what it's worth, I don't think you're a sell out. Jick and Mr. Skullhead - For creating Kingdom of Loathing, the best online game... online. Me, AstroFlameX - For being awesome enough to sit up and write this when I could be doing all KINDS of more constructive things. Batman - For being the most awesome thing in existence, inspiring me to live everyday trying to be half as awesome as he is Jesus - For dying for me and forgiving me for my sins, and yours too.