__ | | ______ ______ ______ ______ ___| | / | V V V | | ,, | ,, |__,, | ,, | ,, | | || | '' |/""' | || | || | | || | ,, < ,, | || | || | | '' | || | '' | || | '' | \____ |__|| |______|__||__|______| | |__ | | __ |______| |\__ |___ ______ _______| |___ | | V V | | | ___| ,, | ,, | ====| ___| | | __| || | '' | ___|| | __ | || | || | ____/ | | || | | '' | || | ""''| | | '' | \______|__||__|______|__| \______/ ______ __ ___| |___ ______ ______ _____ _____ / | || | | || || || | |__,, | || | ___| ,, ||_ _||_ || _| /""' | || || | __| || | | | | | | | | ,, | || || || | || | | | | | | | | '' | '' || '' | '' | | | | ',,' | \______|______|\______|______| _| |_ | '' | | | | | /) |______| |____| _/_(/ _ , _ (__/ )/(/_ ,___ \__/_) / , \ / _/_ \/ ) / / / / / _ / /"\/ /"\_("_( _ ,_ _,/ __/ / /"\| |\,/| |/| /_) /"\( \_/\__/\_/,_) \ (_(_| )_(_( (_/\___/ \_/|/| | |/| |_\__/\_/ \ __ ______ ______ __________ ______ ______ _____ ______ __ _______| |___ / | V V \ / |/ | \ | \ | | ,, |__,, | ,, ,, | ,, | | ,, | ,__| ,, |--| ,, | ___| | || |/""' | || || | '' | | """"\ | | '' |--| '' || | __ | || | ,, | || || | ____/ \,,,, | | __| ,, < | ,,,,/| || | | '' | '' | || || | ""''| | '' | " | || | | | | '' | \____ |______|__||__||__|______/ |______/\_____|__||__|__|__| \______/ | | |______/ Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and Damned Game Script Writer: InfernoSD AKA InfernoDragon Version: 1.00 as of 5/17/10 Copyright: 2010 InfernoSD =============================================================================== TABLE OF CONTENTS (#toc) =============================================================================== I. Table of Contents (#toc) II. Introduction (#intro) III. Character Key (#charkey) IV. Storyline Missions (#story) 1. Clean and Serene (#bg1) 2. Angels in America (#bg2) 3. It's War (#bg3) 4. Action/Reaction (#bg4) 5. Liberty City Choppers (#jf1) 6. Bad Cop Drop (#jf2) 7. Buyer's Market (#bg5) 8. Politics (#ts1) 9. Off Route (#ts2) 10. Coming Down (#ab1) 11. This Shit's Cursed (#bg6) 12. Hit the Pipe (#jf3) 13. End of Chapter (#jf4) 14. Bad Standing (#jf5) 15. Heavy Toll (#et1) 16. Marta Full of Grace (#et2) 17. Shifting Weight (#et3) 18. Diamonds in the Rough (#rbo1) 19. Roman's Holiday (#ab2) 20. Collector's Item (#rbo2) 21. Was It Worth It? (#rbo3) 22. Get Lost (#ts3) V. Random Character Encounters (#rndchar) 1. Malc 1 (#malc1) 2. Malc 2 (#malc2) 3. Dave (#dg1) 4. Brian (#bj1) VI. Contact Info (#contact) VII. Credits (#credits) VIII. Version History (#version) IX. Legal (#legal) =============================================================================== INTRODUCTION (#intro) =============================================================================== This document is a listing of all the major dialogue in GTA IV: The Lost and Damned. All the cutscenes, driving dialogues, phonecalls, emails, and other conversations are recorded here. I've chosen to leave out a number of elements including fighting insults, mission failure convos, and various others; the game is packed full of them, and they'd do little more than muddy up the real content. Chevrons <> are used to indicate the heading of each item, such as a cutscene or email, as well as to explain what occurs in the completion of certain mission objectives. Brackets [] are used (mostly in cutscenes) to explain characters' actions. Some dialogues come in multiple variations that I specify as A, B, sometimes C and D. There's also a few cases where the player can activate optional phonecalls. Most browsers have a Find function. Press Ctrl + F and enter a search term from the table of contents, such as "#intro", to go directly to that section of the guide. =============================================================================== CHARACTER KEY (#charkey) =============================================================================== Johnny Johnny Klebitz. Billy Billy Grey, President of The Lost MC Alderney Chapter. Jim James Fitzgerald, The Lost Treasurer, close to Johnny. Brian Brian Jeremy, The Lost Loyal Secretary, suckup to Billy. Terry Terrence Thorpe, The Lost Arms Dealer. Jason Jason Michaels, The Lost Enforcer. Clay Clayton Simons, The Lost Road Captain. Angus Angus Martin, member of The Lost now paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Ashley Ashley Butler, Johnny's ex-girlfriend. Chad Billy's councilor at the rehab center. Roncero Another employee at rehab. PB Pretty Boy, bike mechanic working in Bohan. Dave David Grossman, lawyer and biker friend of Billy's. Stubbs Thomas Stubbs III, crooked congressman, friend of Dave's. Ray Ray Boccino, a Pegorino family capo, friends with Ashley. Ed Ed McCornish, corrupt police officer. Jimmy Jimmy Matthews, Ed's partner. Leavis Doorman at The Jousters, where Stubbs spends his time. Lizzy Elizabeta Torres, a head of drug distribution around the city. PB X Trey Stewart, AKA Playboy X, head of North Holland drug distribution. Niko Niko Bellic, immigrant wanted by the Russian mob. Malc Malcolm, member of the Uptown Riders. DeSean Malc's friend and another member of the Uptown Riders. Andreas Elizabeta's bodyguard. Marta Elizabeta's friend and drug mule. Roman Roman Bellic, Niko's cousin. Cook The cook aboard The Platypus ship. Tony Anthony Prince, AKA Gay Tony, owner of two nightclubs. Evan Evan Moss, Tony's boyfriend. Luis Luis Fernando Lopez, employee/partner of Tony, bouncer at his clubs. Isaac Isaac Roth, Jewish mobster and diamond dealer. Mori Mori Green, Isaac's partner. =============================================================================== STORYLINE MISSIONS (#story) =============================================================================== ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CLEAN AND SERENE (#bg1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The bikers leave the club.] Terry Hold on, little buddy. [driving Angus's wheelchair down the stairs] Johnny Come on guys, come on let's go. Terry Alright man. Keep it up, I'm gonna push you down these stairs. Watch out. Watch out! I got a man in a chair. Johnny Alright, everybody, c'mon. Break it up. Let's go. Terry See ya, fuck. [They get on their bikes and drive north across Alderney.] Roncero You do understand what probation means? Billy Uh... yes sir. Roncero It means that if you continue down that same path, you'll be locked up and calling some cellmate Daddy within a month. Billy Yes, sir. Roncero If I had it my way we wouldn't waste our time - you'd be inside already. Chad Mr. Grey has made great progress. His share on willfulness was one of the most powerful things I've ever heard. I believe in this man. Roncero Well, let's hope you don't live to regret that faith. Chad God works in mysterious ways. Roncero In this case, it seems God is down right perverse, but I'll leave the salvation to you gentlemen. [walking off] You, stay out of trouble. Billy Yes, Daddy. Roncero Excuse me? Billy Yes sir. [Roncero walks away.] Chad Remember. It's a disease. Billy I know, Chad. I know. It's a disease. Meetings every day. Call you if I feel the need to use. Pray. I pray. In fact I'm praying right now. Chad You're very willful. Billy Was very willful, Chad, was very willful. I've changed. And you know what, Chad? You changed me. [walking off] Gentlemen, shall we get the fuck out of here? Chad Hey, stay in touch! [Billy walks over to the bikers, where Johnny hands over a biker jacket.] Johnny Yo. Here you go. Billy It's about time. [puts it on] Home sweet home. Billy Come on, brothers. Get me back to church. Johnny Only Billy Grey would get taken down on a distribution beef and end up in a country club. How were things in there? Billy You know, John boy, it was kinda hard. Harder than you'd think. I don't know what I'd rather go back to, stints in the hole or group share cluster fucks in that place. Johnny Okay. Billy Whether it's train gangs in the showers or grown men crying and hugging in rehab, there's definitely an undeniable twinge of homosecuality in this fine country's correctional system. Johnny No wonder you keep getting caught then, Billy. You can't stay away from it. Billy Now, let's be clear, I keep getting caught because assholes like you ain't watching out for me. Johnny Don't question me. Sometimes you gotta look out for yourself, Billy. Billy Okay. I'll save my questions until I see the chapter. And you better have looked after my baby. Billy Had any contact with my dear old friends, the Angels of Death? Johnny There's a truce, Billy. You know that. A truce means no hassle, everybody gets to do business and make money without looking over their shoulders too much. Billy All the money in the world isn't worth anything if you don't have your pride, brother. Johnny It's hard to be proud when you don't have a roof over your head. I can show you the books. Billy Fucking books, man. Fucking books. Show me some whiskey. Show me some hole. I've been putting up with rehab skanks getting sex therapy for the last few months. I need something real. Johnny Oh yeah? Billy Who's been hanging round the house? The usual mattress cover? Johnny Some old faces, some new ones. Billy I ain't interested in their faces. You're the one who gets emotionally attached, J, not me. Well, not to women at least. Johnny Just bikes and drugs then? Billy Bikes and brothers, Johnny. Bikes and brothers. I ain't attached to no drugs, man. They're attached to me, clingy bastards. Johnny I bet you're happy to see this place, man. [They cheer as they enter the club.] Billy It is good to be back my brothers! Clay Hoo-ha! Line 'em up, motherfuckers! Johnny Line 'em up, my brother... yes, sir! Billy Johnny, what's going on? Johnny Not much, Bill. Usual stuff. Brian We missed you, Bill. Billy So, aching for a fucking drink here. Brian Just pour, Willy Wetbacks. Billy Salut, motherfucker. Brian To wet pussy and dry tequila. [They drink.] Billy Yummy. So, Johnny boy. Where's my bike? Johnny You know where it is. Billy Let me rephrase the question - where the fuck is my bike, and why the fuck haven't you gotten it back for me? Johnny Because you know where it is. Billy Are you deaf? Give me that whisky. Are you fucking deaf? Johnny No. Billy Then answer the God damn question. Why the fuck haven't you gotten it back for me, friend-brother? Johnny One word: business. Like I told you when you were in there, or were you so busy playing holier-than-thou you started believing your own bullshit? Billy Oh forgive me. You know, I've had a complicated few weeks. Brian I can only imagine, Bill. Billy You know, coming off heroine's kinda hard. I think I acquired a touch of amnesia. What business is more important, mister 1980s yuppie big shot, than your best friend's bike, when he's close to getting a fifteen year stretch? Johnny The business that pays his lawyers fees. The business that puts food on all of our tables. The business that we are all in, while you're out pretending to be saved. Billy Get my bike! Johnny What am I? Your fucking dog? Brian I told you we should have gotten his bike. Johnny You told me? You told me? You don't tell me shit, you little fuck. Listen, Billy, they were pissed and they had a reason. Your bike chopped that girl's leg off. You put Joe Jon's nephew in a coma. The Deadbeats kept the bike. We needed the money. Billy You needed some balls. Some fuckin' heart. Something. I can't believe I'm hearing this shit. Brian Yeah. Johnny And I can't believe I'm hearing this - after everything we did for you. Paid your rehab, paid your lawyers fees, paid your rent, paid everything, shit, we set stuff up for you. We do well, man, but it's time to be smart. Billy You're right, you're right, no you're right... You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna run right out and buy a condo. Get a mortgage, 401(k). Then fold that over into an IRA and a CD. [laughing with Brian] What the fuck, man? Be smart? You be smart you fucking chump, you're ridiculous. Have you got a healthcare plan? Jim Come on Johnny. Let's just get his bike. Come on. Johnny Well on your head be it. Billy It always is. It's called leadership. Shit meaning something. Johnny Yeah and your shit means a lot, man. C'mon. [walking away] Billy Johnny. Johnny Yeah? Billy Wait, c'mere. Listen, man. I'm a little pent up right now. You saw that shit I had to go through, right? It was really frustrating. Fucked up shit. Craziness, right? Okay, so I'm a little pissed off and I've been a bit of a prick lately, but come on man. You and Angus built that bike for me. That's gotta stand for something. Johnny Yeah you're right, brother. I'm gonna go get it. And you know what? Peace and prosperity be damned. Billy Peace and prosperity be damned, my brother. You are my brother, Johnny. Always. Johnny [walking off] Let's go! Billy Brothers, I couldn't let you run this errand without me. You might fuck it up. Brothers aren't meant to be this close, Johnny. But we're gonna have to be until I get my bike back. Jim Let's hope Pretty Boy still knows where this thing is. Guantanamo Avenue, boys. Billy Look at me, manage to avoid prison and I'm still ass to cock with a dude. Johnny Yeah, well, I ain't too happy about it neither man - you wanna turn around and go back to the clubhouse? Billy I'm happy about it alright, John boy. Fuck, after that therapy shit, a drink and the road is all I need. Johnny Good to know. Billy You been missing me all that time I spent sharing and caring in rehab? Johnny Let's get your bike and save the emotions for later. Billy You know what, Johnny? You could do with some of the trust exercises they got in there. I'm going to blindfold you when we get back. All you gotta do is fall over and trust that your brothers are going to catch ya. Can you do that? Johnny You boys'll be too drunk to catch VD, let alone two hundred and thirty pounds of rapidly approaching middle age. Billy Technically, you're two hundred and thirty pounds of Jewish biker, John boy. Your faith has gotta come first. Johnny Religion, Billy. Religion. I gave up with faith. Billy Johnny the Jew, Klebitz the Heeb. Good to be here, man. Good to fucking be here. What's your problem? Johnny Nothing, man. Billy I'm the leader of the chapter again, Johnny. And you're just another brother. Can you handle it? Johnny Long as you run the chapter right we can all handle it. Billy I'll run it the way it needs to be run. Same as the three guys before me did. Same as I'm doing now. Johnny Really? It feels kinda different. Before all we cared about was having fun, the brothers, getting shit-faced, it's screw you, you get in our way, you're gonna get your teeth kicked in. Billy Thank you for sharing! And now what's it feel like to you, Jonathan? Johnny It feels like knocking heads is a full time job and maybe if we stopped doing it for a minute, we'd look around and realize that the fun ended a long time ago. Billy Yeah? Well, I signed up to be a brother for life, you ungrateful fuck. If you're in The Lost for the good times only, fair weather weekends in the Carraways, then you ain't in The Lost. You get me? Johnny Chill out, man. I just hope when we decide to take a break, to slow down, that it's still an option on the table. Billy How's Angus? Johnny Good, you know. You should go and see him. Billy Yeah, sure. I got a lot on my plate. I only just got out and look at the state of shit around here. Johnny He'd appreciate if you made some time for him. He may be stuck in a chair, but he's still a member of The Lost. Billy That guy, he's an exceptional human being, an example to us all. After the accident, shit. Johnny Yeah. Billy I mean, he can't ride, he can't get any hole. Johnny I know what he can't do, Billy. He does too. Just go and fucking see him, alright? Billy You're tense, Johnny. must have been stressful heading up the chapter while I was away. Johnny It was fine. Billy Not everybody's shoulders are wide enough to bear the responsibility. Are any of the brothers giving you shit? I'll have a talk to them, don't worry. Johnny Things ran smoothly, Bill. You know, they ran real smooth when we were concentrating on shifting drugs and not just putting them in our arms and up our noses. Billy With a nose the size of yours there wouldn't be much blow for the other brothers anyway, John boy. Johnny All I'm saying is we were cool. We took a break from saying "fuck you" to everything and we made some deals that worked out. Billy Yeah, good for you Johnny. If you had so much fun why don't you go start your own chapter? Johnny That's not what I meant, man. Billy Because this one, my chapter, isn't big enough to have two people pulling it in different directions. Johnny I know, man. I'm loyal, but I ain't a drone, man. We should be able to talk about shit. Billy You know, I've been here since I got out of juvie. I've seen men die for their brothers and men rat their brothers out. And I know that this gang don't mean shit if men don't follow their leader. Jim This is the joint. Jim Pretty Boy. PB Hey. Jim Where's the bike? PB Oh, it's good to see you too, tough guys. Uhh... what bike are you talking about exactly? Johnny You know what we're talking about. Jim Billy's bike. PB Billy's bike? Jesus, man, it's been a long time. I thought he was dead. What's he want it for? To sell it for crack, right, eh? Jim Shut up. PB Listen, you know how it is. Thing's passed hands, parts been changed up. Hard to say if that chopper's even around anymore. Sorry, boys... Billy [walks in] You will be, my friend. You will be. PB Hey, good to see you, Bill! Man, I thought you was dead... Billy Jim, start up the bike. [Jim starts the bike, Johnny holds Pretty Boy's face down to the tire.] PB Whoa, hold on... Wait please, please... no, nooo... Billy Where - is - my bike? Johnny Speak, you ugly fuck! PB Ah, okay listen... ah, the Angels of Death took it to their place in Northwood. Billy Motherfucking Angels of Death. PB That's all I know... please! Johnny Thank you. Billy Yes, thank you. [Billy smashes Pretty Boy in the face as they leave.] Jim Okay, now all we gotta do is pick up the bike. Johnny You didn't have to do that. He told you who had the bike. Billy You really have gone soft, haven't you Johnny? You know, you could do with a stretch in the joint, might harden you up. Johnny Whatever. Billy What about an eye for an eye and all that shit? You shoulda been the one to make that guy pay for holding out. Johnny Enough with that shit. We got more things to worry about than respect and stupid kids' stuff. We got to keep business afloat or we're fucked. Billy You just don't get it, do you? This is what it's about. This. Not that money shit. We're in it to stick it to all those yuppies and hippies and motherfucking Deadbeats. Give me a stiff drink, some hard drugs, the road and my chopper. That's all I need. Maybe an occasional bit of the hole. Wouldn't be a man if I didn't need that now, would I? How's Ashley, by the way? She single? Johnny What about your brothers, man? Ain't you in it for The Lost? Billy Everything I do is about The Lost. I don't exist without my brothers - without you. If you don't get that, then you don't get nothing, John boy. Sad state of affairs. Johnny Yeah, well, it's some tough love you're showing them. Johnny Poor fuck. I don't think he's got any nose left. Billy Well yours is plenty big, my compassionate friend. You should donate some. To the cause. Johnny Shit, you know best, Bill, you're the leader. You make these decisions, I'll just taxi you around on your little welcome back tour. There any more side trips you want to make on your way to the Deadbeats? Billy No, I just want my bike back, that's what this is all about. Johnny Good. Billy But Johnny, you need to quit your bitching and moaning. Johnny I'm not gonna quit telling you when you're being an asshole. Being a leader doesn't make you right. Billy You haven't always got the information, brother. So shut up and behave. Your ego is getting you into trouble, my friend. Johnny It used to be all you need to worry about was waking up with some bruises. Maybe a broken rib and a hangover. Billy Don't forget about the ugly broads you'd take home. Johnny Now, Pretty Boy's waking up without a face. That's not gonna go back to normal. Angus lost his legs for life. Billy You're out of line, Johnny. You're out of line. Jim We're here. Johnny Let's get your bike then. Billy There she is, my baby. I think we earned us a drink, follow me. Johnny We're all behind you, Billy. Lead on. Clay Looks like Billy's back getting this old gang into deep shit. Johnny That's a President's job, ain't it, Clay? Same with a motorcycle club or a whole country. Clay Who knows, man? I leave the politicking to you boys. Jim Billy got his bike back. He'll be cool now. Johnny Yeah, Jim? Something tells me fucking up Pretty Boy and killing them Deadbeats ain't enough for him. Jim Maybe. Let's just say I'm not gonna share today's events with Jackie and the kid. Johnny Jason, I haven't seen you around much, man. Jason Yeah, I been fucking this Russian bitch in Broker. Gets her psycho daddy real mad. Johnny He gives you trouble, he'll have to start worrying about the whole chapter. Tell him that. Then we'll see how psycho he is. Terry What's Ashley gonna do now that Billy's back? Johnny Fuck me Terry. That's her call. It's a free country. Terry I don't know where you've been living, pal. Us brothers are the only free people I see. Johnny Hey, Billy! How's it feel to be on the old bike, man? Billy Like when your wife is screwing the neighbor. I'm gonna be up all night tuning her back to normal. Johnny You're gonna be up all night fucking and getting high. The bike'll wait til morning. Billy You like being back in line? Wouldn't want you getting too used to thinking for yourself. Johnny Yeah, Bill? At least I twisted the wick when I had the brothers behind me, old man. Billy I'll twist your wick, Johnny. Twist the little thing right off your body. Johnny Okay, Bill. You got your bike. Take what you gotta take, drink what you gotta drink, fuck what you gotta fuck. I don't care, kill who you gotta kill. But get it out of your system. Billy Mmm. Johnny And when you do, give me a call and we'll get back to business. Billy You're not my PO, brother. Remember who the head of this chapter is. Johnny I do, man... trust me. Billy Tell me, do you still have Ashley's phone number? Why don't you give her a call for me? Tell her I'm inside, getting all sorts of fucked up. And that I would really like some, I mean we, meaning all of us, would love some hole. Angus Johnny, my brother. Johnny Hey, Angus. You seen much of Billy yet? Angus I seen him, yeah. Not much though. Johnny Well, dude, what do you think? Is he on top of his shit or is he gonna run this club into a hole? Angus He's gonna run himself into a hole, I know that. Shit, Billy doesn't really talk to me. I mean he'd hardly make eye contact since I got hurt. Johnny That's because you're way down in your chair, Angus, and it's hard to see ya. Angus Ha ha ha. That'd be a damn sight funnier if I didn't think it was true, John. Billy doesn't see anything that he don't wanna. He'll see anything within smoking, fucking, and drinking proximity, but he won't see the two ton truck bearing down on him. Johnny I get you, man. Later on. Ashley Johnny. Thought you'd never call. Johnny Yeah, we haven't seen one another in a long time. Ashley I just see you in my dreams, sugar. Johnny Come on, Ash, give it up. You seriously got time to dream inbetween your three-day ice binges? Ashley What's up, Johnny? How you like having Billy back? Johnny I like it fine. Look, I got to go. Take care of yourself. ashbutlerxxx@eyefind.info Some day Hey boy, Man, I fucked things up. I know I did. But you weren't a saint. You weren't. You're who you are, and you do bad shit, and hanging out with you made me do bad shit, even though it ain't your fault. But I did bad shit to you, because you were my world. I thought you would kill me and you didn't, so that makes you a better person than some. I'm so glad we're friends now, it makes me happy to know you're on my side and even though we ain't together and we both fucked this thing up, we are at least friends. I'm off the drugs, Johnny boy. I'm off them. I don't want to get high no more. Not ever. I'm sorting myself out. I'm going to go to college or something. Give back. I miss you. It won't never be the same without you, but it's the way it's got to be. I know that, we both did bad shit and we hurt each other and people who love each other ain't meant to hurt each other. Your friend, Ash Ash. Ain't much point going over shit again. Whole world we live in is fucked up and we belong in that world. Things weren't meant to be, and I don't seem to be the family man type. I'm your friend, nothing more. Not ever. I can't watch you do any more drugs. Good luck staying clean this time. Johnny. I ain't in the mood for internet chit chat. Have a nice life. Johnny. angus@LostMC.com B.G. out Brother, So, they let him out? Ridiculous in osme ways. Man, it's tough. I love my brothers, all of them, but there's brothers who stood by me, (you, Jimy, Clay and a few others) and brothers who said they would, and I think we know which camp Billy and Brian fall into. This is my life now. I can't ride into the sunset. I can't ride into anything. I'm stuck in a chair and I need money. I need it so we have to keep making it. It's tough. I hope Billy don't fuck it up for all of us. He nearly did last time. We are a small crew. We can't beat the Deadbeats, but we can live alongside them. Billy will come out and go on a rampage. And Brian and those other clowns will drag us along. It ain't going to be good. It's just a question of how bad. Ride safe, Angus I hear you, brother. Whatever happens, you know me and you are brothers. Johnny. Let's give him a chance, man. Brothers for life. No matter what. Johnny. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANGELS IN AMERICA (#bg2) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Billy Little dorky gas station attendant boy goes "Hey man! Are you alright" And I go "Yeah dude! How's my bike?" [Everyone laughs. Johnny walks in.] Billy Hey! Johnny K. Girl Hey Johnny, how you doin' baby? [Johnny shoves her away.] Girl Hey, what the fuck? Billy Ooh, stop, domestic violence. Johnny Hey man, you having fun over there? Billy Absolutely. And if I get tested, I have a bag of twelve year old's piss right here. I am clean. Johnny Real nice. Billy Oh fuck you, Johnny. You don't judge me! Johnny Whoaa! Calm down, man. Have another drink or somethin' but calm the fuck down. Billy Oh fuck you, faggot. Johnny Yeah? Really? Jason [runs in] Guys, guys. Billy, Johnny. We got a couple of fuckin' Deadbeats outside. Johnny Deadbeats? What the hell are they doing here? Billy What the fuck do they want? I'm out of rehab three minutes, and they think they can crash my party? Come on. Johnny Let's do what we got to do. [They head outside.] Billy Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Why the long faces? Might I tempt you in a swift libation, my most trusted and honored guests? AOD I thought we had a truce going on. Billy Did you? Funny thing - I wasn't aware. But, let me tell you, it's a strange kind of truce that makes you think it's okay to gatecrash my party, Deadbeat motherfucker. AOD I'm sorry. You enjoy your little party. I take it, the good times are over. No problem, old man. [flips him off] Billy Screw you, you Deadbeat prick. [shoots him] Think you can come to my party and gatecrash? Come on! Jason Yeah, come on! Johnny Aah, you moron! Billy Johnny, man, you let those Deadbeats tell their buddies a war's on? Johnny No, I stopped 'em. We don't need more brothers dyin' over this. Billy Sensible Johnny K. Come meet us over on Grummer Road, brother. Billy Whoo. Disaster averted, brother. Jason Yeah! Johnny You coming back? Jason I'd love to man, but I'm seeing this hot Russian broad over on Firefly Island. Gonna drink her daddy's expensive vodka and fuck her under the pier. Johnny Ooh - young love in the modern world. Jason Yeah! Johnny That's beautiful. Billy These Deadbeats won't be screwing around with us anymore. Let the good times roll. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IT'S WAR (#bg3) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave They was mad but, see, there was only two of them. Billy Were mad, Dave. Were. Not was. You should know that. No, you'd a been okay, because you are a... Dave Because I am a lawyer. Billy Yes. And during the week, you cover up those nice, gnarly tattoos with a grey flannel suit and make a nice, steady income. Dave Oh man. Tom Stubbs would love hanging out with you boys. Hey may be a politician, he may be a politician, but he ain't no square. Billy Smoke, Dave? Dave Oh, hell yes. [bong] Billy I put some mescaline in with the weed, Dave, so I'd be very careful if I were you. [laughing] You could be tripping for days. Dave I can handle it. Billy Oh yeah, I fucking love you, man. [Johnny walks over.] Billy Johnny, look at this guy. This is Dave - Dave Grossman - by day, top lawyer at Shysters, by night, a knight of the road, battling the very corporate forces he represents. Say, Dave, are you a bi-sexual? Dave Very funny. Billy I didn't think so, I guessed you just liked cock. Jonathon - bong hit? Johnny No. Hey Dave, forgive me, man - would you fuck off for a second? I got to talk to Billy. Please, Dave. Up, Dave. [Dave walks off.] Billy You look serious. Johnny What's next, man? A documentary team in here? You going to write your autobiography or something? Billy He's cool - he's a lawyer - he can help us with shit. Johnny He looks like an asshole. Billy And right now I think he's tripping his face off... Johnny Whatever. Billy Look dude, you and me, shit seems kind of tense lately, doesn't it? It's kind of lame. Have I offended you in some way? Johnny No. Billy Then what do you say we put all this shit behind us? And have some fun? [progressively louder] Because life is pain, brother. And through this life, through this brotherhood, we can give the pain the finger. Jim Yeah, fuck the pain! Johnny Yeah, yeah, you're right man. Fuck it. Billy [pressing buttons on his phone] Yeah, yeah, are you fucking kidding me?... Where?... [shouting] Alright, all of you, let's go. Let's go! Our boys are getting jumped. Billy The Deadbeats are shit kicking the brothers. Stick with me. Johnny Brian, Brian, are you sure you want to be here? I mean, this is a man's job after all. Brian No, Johnny, nope. You're the fucking pussy, man. Johnny Shit, I can't hear you, big man. It's the wind. Speak up next time. Brian So are you gonna fight alongside your brothers or are you going to join the Deadbeats? Johnny As much as I'd like to kick your ass, Brian, I could never go against a brother. Brian Yeah, not to his face at least. I bet you'd stab him in the back, though. Billy See Johnny? I told you this true meant nothing. Johnny You're the one who wiped his ass on the truce to start with. Billy Pre-emptive strike, my brother. And fuck me if it wasn't the right move. Billy You like Mr. David Grossman then, Johnny? He's got some business contacts that'll appeal to your newly-minted business mind. Johnny You talk and talk about sticking it to the man and then you hang out with a lawyer? You must be an American, man - you understand hypocrisy so damn well. Billy I'm a complicated individual and I've got serious authority issues. Ask my councilor! Billy More Deadbeats on the funeral pyre. Get on your choppers. Johnny Fuck, dude. You lost your fuckin' mind. Billy We're moving out, Johnny. Let's go. Word is there's another skirmish. Come on. Brian Bill did good back there. You could learn a lot from watching him fight. Johnny Yeah, I need to do some learning. Mind if I practice on you, Brian? Brian Wouldn't want to hurt you. I don't hit women. Johnny Man, the Deadbeats seem real annoyed. If I was you, I'd be scared they'd attack me in the street. Brian They're not going to mess with me while I'm with Bill, ha ha. No one fucks with Bill. Johnny Good thing you're glued to him, then. Billy Saddle up, brothers. These fucks are dead. Billy Brothers... Brothers, come on in, gather round. Brian Hey. Billy Chill out. Brothers, I just got word that Jason's been killed up in Broker. Johnny Aw, man. Billy He was banging some Russian broad and her heavy duty father didn't much like it. Brian He hired a fucking Polack to do it. Billy I think he was a Serb, Brian. Brian Fucking Slav scumbag all the fucking same. Billy Shut the fuck up. Brothers, we will find a way to get payback against this Polish/Russian/Serb - I don't really give a shit. In the meantime, let's take a moment to remember Jason and all the other men who've given the finger to this shitty little thing that we call conformity. Brian Amen, Billy. Johnny Got that right. Billy Now, Jason was, he was just a kid, but he hit the throttle harder than most of us, huh? He was a law breaker, trouble maker, a beer drinker and hell-raiser. He didn't suffer fools, he got any piece of hole he wanted, he always had time for a brother in need, and he was scared of precisely jack shit. Johnny Right. Billy In short - the kind of man I'd want to be. Jason Michaels - lost but not forgotten. Brian Amen to that, Billy. Johnny Jason. [They drink.] Billy Okay boys, the time for pussy licking ass kicking is over. We are brothers for life, Lost forever. In these perilous times it's more important than ever that you follow your leader. And this is me, remember. See you boys back at the clubhouse. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ACTION/REACTION (#bg4) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Billy So where did you get them from? Ray Oh, y'know from a little contact I have who really wants you to cut me out of the loop... Where'd the hell I get it? What is wrong with you? All kind of shit it out there, Billy, all you gotta do is grab it. Billy And that makes you what? A, uhh, shit grabber? Ray Huh! Shit grabber. Wow! See, I like how you did that - it was very good, very clever. Almost like a joke, y'know, only it wasn't funny. [Johnny walks in.] Billy Johnny - have you met Ray? Johnny Hey. Billy Ray Boccino. Hey, my brother. Johnny. Johnny the Jew. Ray Johnny the Jew - how the hell are you? Do me a favor - help keep this degenerate out of jail, alright, at least until he's paid me. Johnny I'll do my best. Ray Yeah, later. [exits] Johnny What's he sellin' ya? Billy Toys, my boy. Toys. Now come on, let's go. Brian Man, where we going, Bill? Billy Pay somebody a visit. Johnny Billy, man, please don't be a dick. Billy Johnny, you seem a little tense lately. Have you considered some analysis? Maybe a day spa? High colonic? Brian [laughing] Colonic! Billy Follow the leader, assholes. Johnny Still lifting weights, Billy? Billy I don't need to now that I'm carrying your heavy ass around with me, Johnny. Johnny I think you've got me confused with Brian. He's the one who's permanently suckered onto your ass. Johnny Billy, man. Just for once I'd like to know what the fuck we're doing before we do it. Billy Having delusions of grandeur, Klebitz? Johnny Shit, yeah, of course. Only the chapter president gets to know what's going on. Johnny So is this about kicking ass and feeling like big men or are gonna make some money? Billy The two of them are not always mutally exclusive, my brother. Johnny Really? Let's see. Johnny Brian, man. What you been doing lately. Sucking Billy's cock, I'm betting. Brian I seen a video of Ashley fucking on the internet. You're a chump, Johnny. Johnny I thought you only watched gay porn on the internet, Brian. You're into cock, right? Brian You think that's funny, asshole? Johnny Tell you what, send me a fucking link to that Ashley video. What do I care what she's up to? We're through. Johnny Brian, man, you ever done time? Brian Only people who do time are the ones that are dumb enough to get caught. Apart from Bill. He got unlucky. Johnny It's not luck, Brian. The man wants you he's gonna come find you no matter how smart you think you are. Johnny Don't you ever get tired of following Billy without know what's going on? Brian That's what you do with a leader, dumbass. Are you sad no one's following you, Johnny? Johnny I'd be nothing but embarassed to have you kissing my ass all day, Brian. Johnny You ready for this shit, Brian? Brian Fucking yes, bitches. Johnny Alright then, let's fucking do it. Billy Have I got a toy for you. [holding gun] Johnny Yeah, whatever Bill. Whaddya want? Billy What is this? Johnny What? Billy What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Johnny What are you talking about? Billy These Deadbeats are the ones who killed Jason in Broker. Johnny I thought it was a Pole or a Serb or something? Billy We got some bad information, brother. These are the guys. They killed that kid, and look at you, you're acting like you don't even give a shit. You sick or something, man? Johnny These Deadbeats killed Jason? Billy Yes they did. Now take one of these grenades and put it through their window. The Almighty forgives, Johnny. The Lost don't. [hands over gun] Brian Yeah, amen Johnny boy. Billy [laughing] The Deadbeats have got themselves on shit-load of heroin. Pack it up, Johnny. [indicating two bags] Johnny Wait, I don't understand... I thought this was payback for Jason, man, what the fuck is this? Billy Two million in arm candy's as good a payback as I can think of. Come on brother. Johnny Jesus, hold your fucking horses, man. Now we're gonna steal their smack? Slow down. Billy Slown? Hold up, wait, ooohhhh. Jesus, physics lesson, fuckball. Do you know how motorcycles work? Brian You about to get schooled. Billy Centrifugal inertia. Meaning the quicker your wheels go, the more stable you are. The faster we go, the harder we hit it, the more us brothers pull together. That's why we do what we do, that's how we do what we do. Brian Why, how - they're the same fucking thing. We go faster, longer, and harder and that's how we stay together. Billy Brian. Shut up. Johnny What the fuck are you talking about? You gotta stop reading them shitty internet sites, man, and start thinking about what you're doing to us. We lift this shit right now and every Deadbeat on the east coast is gonna come after our chapter. Billy Well, that's something your leader will have to worry about. Not you, soldier. Brian, grab the shit. Let's clear out. Ha ha. Johnny, I've sent you a link to the Deadbeats' website. Check it out! jimfitz@LostMC.com AOD Johnny man, Check out this site, man. Fucking assholes! If ever you thought this war weren't worth fighting. www.angelsofdeathonline.com Later man, Jim Deadbeat pricks. Ain't you got better things to do than look around at shit like this on the internet? Later, man. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LIBERTY CITY CHOPPERS (#jf1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Johnny Hey Jim, what's up? Jim Same old bullshit, Johnny. Can you come and meet me on Aspdin over in Acter? Johnny Alright, brother. I'll be there. Johnny What's going on, Jim? Jim Hey, Johnny boy. You know the deal. If it ain't one load of bullshit, it's a God damn 'nother. Johnny Tell me about it. I'm coming close to really losing my shit here. Jim Well, you ain't gonna like what I'm about to do in the next few hours. Johnny What? Jim We gotta go steal some bikes from the Angels of Death. Johnny Ain't we a little too old for stealing bikes and clubhouse flags and crap like that? It don't help nothing. Jim Hey, I hear ya man. But these bikes are the real deal. Now, I got a guy who pays me for them then ships them over to Japan. Apparently they're gonna go crazy for these bikes in particular. Now business is business. And the Angels, they're the Angels. So do it for the memories. Johnny Okay. It's been a little a while since you and me been on a prank like this together, hasn't it? Jim Too right, brother, too right. Who knows, it might be fun. Jim I'm point on this run. Let's go. Jim You been seeing much of Terry and Clay? Johnny Not really, as least not since Billy got back. Shit's been too crazy. Jim You should call them, man. They're still cool. Their heads are probably in the same kind of place as yours. Johnny Good to be riding just you and me, Jim. Jim Nice, man. Johnny Yeah, man. Fuck all that Billy shit. Let's go. Johnny This is what The Lost MC is about, Jim. Hell yeah. Jim Lost for life! Johnny Yeah, man. Come on. Feels good to be doing something like this. Not just breaking heads 'cause Billy feels like it. Jim Or standing 'round kicking tires and asking what the fucks gone wrong with the chapter. Johnny Absolutely. Got to keep active, brother. Keep on moving. Jim They got these bikes at their place near Honkers. Drive us, will ya? Johnny Where'd you get the van, Jim? You ain't turned into some kind of trailer queen, have you? Jim Very funny, asshole. This shit belongs to my contact. If I wanted to take a bike of mine somewhere, I'd drive it myself. Johnny Yeah? Having an old lady and kid hasn't made you scared of getting dirty? Jim I was riding bikes before your momma rode your daddy, Jonathan. Jackie and the baby, yeah it's nice and all, and shit, I mean I love them and stuff, but I'm still a brother. Lost MC, man, forever.
Johnny  So if Billy asked you to do something that meant you wouldn't be able
        to look after them for some time or, or maybe not ever...?
Jim     Yeah Johnny, I take your point. I'd have to think long and hard on it,
        okay? But I think long and hard about what I'm gonna order at Burger
        Shot as well. I guess I'm the thinking type of maniac.



Johnny  Who's this contact then?
Jim     A guy Angus knows. They met at one of those bike shows.
Johnny  Yeah?
Jim     Shit. That guy knows more about tuning a bike than the rest of the
        brothers put together, but he's the one who can't ride one no more.
Johnny  Luck's a perverse thing, ain't it? How are Jackie and the kid? You
        haven't brought them to the house in a while.
Jim     Hey man, Jackie can handle herself but it ain't exactly a family
        friendly environment at the moment, is it? You know, when things calm
        down.



Jim     It's time to stick it to 'em, Johnny.
Johnny  Let's do this.
Jim     Get the bikes, Johnny. I'll scan the horizon.



Jim     Get the brothers on the wire, Johnny. We need us some help if we're
        gonna get home.



Terry   Jonathan, whatever can I do for you?
Johnny  Well, you could save me and Jim's hides from some angry Deadbeats. We
        need your help.
Terry   Now, you know only a Chapter Head like Billy can ask for that kind of
        help. So don't go telling him we're coming to ya.





Jim     I always get a kick outta sticking it to them pansies.
Johnny  Old habits die hard, brother.
Jim     Yup.
Johnny  Too bad times weren't always this easy...
[A cop car parks up.]
Jim     Oh shit.
Johnny  Be cool man.
Ed      Well, what do we have here?
Jimmy   Looks to me like a couple of mopes with some stolen bikes.
Johnny  These bikes are ours, Officer.
Jim     Nobody's gonna be reporting these bikes stolen, so give us a break.
Ed      Ah, looks like these mopes have outsmarted us, don't it?
Jimmy   Unbelievable. These inbred biker rednecks get smarter every year. Your
        parents musta been fuckin' brilliant siblings.
Johnny  Yeah, funny.
Ed      You think you're smart? How smart you gonna feel when we drag your old
        lady downtown, turn the cameras off and interrogate her real hard?
Jimmy   I bet she'll love it. She'll be begging us for another fucking
        interrogation in no fucking time. [knocks over their bikes]
Johnny  Aww...
Ed      Oh! We've been watching the Angels of Death, shitbirds.
Jimmy   That's right, we saw the whole thing you fucking jerk-offs. Case
        closed.
Ed      And now you're gonna fucking pay us. Just like your daddy paid your
        momma for sex.
Jimmy   Skank bitch wouldn't even give her own brother a freebie. Think of a
        number, assholes. And it better be a big one and while you're at it,
        we're gonna be watching so you better behave yourselves boys.
Ed      Watch it there, slim.
Jimmy   Assholes.
[The cops drive off.]
Jim     Fucking cocksuckers. [resetting the bikes]
Johnny  Fucking pricks like those ones made me join The Lost in the first
        place.
Jim     I'm going to go back to the clubhouse, see who's around. Later, man.
Johnny  Later.



Terry   Johnny, it's Terry. Listen, bro, I heard there's a race going down and
        thought you might be interested?
Johnny  A race? Too fucking right. I'm in, man. I'll be there as soon as I can.
Terry   Sounds good, brother. See you soon.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 BAD COP DROP (#jf2)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Johnny  Hey Jim, good to see ya man. What's the trouble?
Jim     Take a guess, bro. It might have something to do with those cops that
        pulled one over on us.
Johnny  I figured.
Jim     The way I see it we got two choices. Either, we buy a big tub of grease
        and prepare to take it from these fat pigs for the rest of our lives...
Johnny  Or?
Jim     Or, we head over to the clubhouse, close to where I happen to know they
        got themselves set up, and we show them that we're not quite the
        bitches they think we are.
Johnny  Well, tempted as I am by your first option, I'm gonna have to go with
        the second.
Jim     I figured you'd say that.
Johnny  Lead on, James.



Jim     Wait here a minute. [walking over to the cop car] Hey, officers, how
        you doin'?
Jimmy   Hey McCornish, this fat perp's brought us a present.
Ed      You know, I forgot how stupid lookin' this guy was, Matthews. You think
        he's smart enough to realize that we got expensive tastes?
Jimmy   What you got for us, mope?
Jim     Ah, exactly what you asked for.
Jimmy   Well, alright-
[Jim punches him in the gut, then takes his coffee and throws it at Ed.]
Jim     There ya go!
[He runs back to his bike.]



Jim     Make tracks to Trinity Road, John, come on. I got some brothers coming
        to meet us.



Johnny  You stole his donut and spilled his coffee. Real mature, man.
Jim     We don't want to piss 'em off too much. Not yet, at least.



Jim     That'll show 'em.
Johnny  Oh yeah. You messed with a dirty cop's donut. You're one badass biker.



Jim     Here's as good a place as any.



Jim     We got lucky there, Johnny boy. I thought we'd be shovelling shit for
        those dudes 'til God knows when.
Luis    Now you know we ain't going out like that, Jim. I'll see you soon.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 BUYER'S MARKET (#bg5)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Go see Liz Torres. She might be able to unload some of that shit we found. If
it's cool, you can collect from Brian



Johnny  Liz Torres, huh?
Billy   Liz Torres. Keep one eye open, Johnny. You heard the tales.
Johnny  I heard 'em alright, but we're cool. Girl does bring heat to a deal,
        Billy. Every cop in this town wants that bitch's head on his wall.
Billy   There's cops on wiretaps waiting to bust us, and there's monsters in
        the closet, and every chick in this town has got VD. Shit, Johnny, you
        spook too easy. Get it sold.



Lizzy   Hey, hey, Johnny, the big bad biker man.
Johnny  Liz Torres, the meanest bitch in Bohan.
Lizzy   Come here, sweetie.
Johnny  Shit, I'd let you kiss me, but I'm afraid you'd stick a knife in my
        back while I was doin' it.
Lizzy   You wouldn't be the first man I'd tried that trick on, sweetie.
Johnny  Yeah, I heard the stories. Listen, I also heard you got somebody for
        that brown?
Lizzy   Maybe. There's an apartment on Cassidy Street in Schottler. You go
        upstairs and talk to Charlie on the third floor.
Johnny  There any heat?
Lizzy   When isn't there? I've got a new guy going along with you. He's from
        Eastern Europe somewheres. If the heat's coming from Charlie, use this
        Slavic motherfucker to help. But if it's him, you know what you gotta
        do.
Johnny  Well, either way it ain't coming back to you, Liz.
Lizzy   Ah, you know Playboy? He's going along, too. Hey Playboy!
Playboy [dancing on the other side of the room] Yo, chill for a second yo.
Johnny  Nah, not really.
Lizzy   Don't you wanna dance?
Johnny  Nah, I'll just sit right here and wait for your boy.
[He waits.]
Lizzy   [to Niko] Surround yourself with cocaine and the assholes soon follow.
        Hey, Johnny!
Johnny  Yo!
Lizzy   Come over here. Come here.
Johnny  Yeah!
Lizzy   Niko, this is Johnny. Now, Johnny is sitting on a big pile of heroin. I
        don't go near the stuff... professionally... but I found him a buyer.
        We're nervous. Will you oversee the deal and check everything is cool?
Niko    Sure.
Lizzy   Thank you.
Johnny  Well, I got to go pick up the stuff, so, uh, I'll see you there.
Lizzy   A'ight.



Johnny  Gimme that shit, man. We got a buyer.
Brian   I don't know why Billy got you to handle this and not me. I mean,
        what's up with that, eh? I guess you Semites are good at sniffing out a
        deal, ain't that right, Johnny?
Johnny  He didn't get you because Liz Torres, and any other two-bit hustler on
        the street, would take you for the little pussy that you are and rob
        you blind. Now gimme that shit. [takes it] See you around, big guy.



Niko    Hey, you ready?
Johnny  Sure, let's do this. Nothing like selling some dope to let you know
        you're alive.
Niko    Let's go.
PB X    Yeah, let's do this.
Johnny  Alright, c'mon.
[They walk into the room.]
Charlie Hey... what's going on guys, what's going on?
Johnny  Not much. Let's do this.
Charlie You've got the heroin? Right? Right?
Johnny  Come on, let's do this, quickly.
Charlie But you've got the heroin, correct? You're carrying it, correct? I mean
        it's a simple question.
Johnny  What's wrong with you? You're being fucking weird.
Charlie Not weird, man. I just wanna know if you're carrying the stuff right?
Johnny  You ain't right, friend, come on... let's get out of here.
[Niko, Playboy, and Johnny run out as Charlie pulls out a gun.]
Charlie LCPD. Freeze motherfucker. I said freeze.
Johnny  Get the fuck outta here. I'll go down, you go up. Good luck.



Billy   So Johnny, are we rich?
Johnny  No Billy, we're not. What we are is under observation by some kind of
        LCPD drugs task force. The buyer was a pig.
Billy   Hell, Johnny, that's not kosher. I'll call you when another buyer's
        lined up.
Johnny  Sounds good.
Billy   We're moving up in the world, Johnny. There's a Congressman, needs your
        help, Tom Stubbs III. I told you keeping that lawyer around would have
        its uses. This guy's at one of them dumb ass gentlemen's clubs in
        Algonquin - the kind without tits - The Jousters.
Johnny  Politicians and lawyers? What are we becoming, man? Next thing you're
        gonna tell me we're doing some shit kicking for the LCPD.
Billy   It's just opposite the Libertonian. Go pay him a visit, if you're still
        thinking about your brothers and not just your own ego, that is.



Johnny  Liz Torres.
Lizzy   It was good to see you, Johnny.
Johnny  Yeah, only problem was your friend the UC. He nearly blew my ass off.
Lizzy   Ha ha, ha ha.
Johnny  How's your fancy European friend working out?
Lizzy   Okay, okay. Seems like maybe he's the only guy in this city not working
        for the state.
Johnny  Him and The Lost MC. Me and the brothers are tight.
Lizzy   I hope so for your sake, Johnny, you know. Ha ha. See you soon, baby.



Johnny  Hello.
Jones   Johnny Klebitz?
Johnny  Yeah. Who is this?
Jones   You tried to offload some smack to a colleague of mine called Charlie.
        Costly mistake.
Johnny  Who the fuck is this?
Jones   Agent Jones - FIB. We'd like you to come in for a talk. Things might be
        easier for you if you give us some information on your motorcycle club.
Johnny  Fuck you, fed. This conversation's over. If you got any evidence on me,
        get a warrant.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 POLITICS (#ts1)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Leavis  Do you have an appointment?
Johnny  Uhh... no, I thought I'd inquire about a membership.
Leavis  Excuse me?
Johnny  Uhh, yeah, under this ravaged, drug-addled exterior lies the heart of a
        reactionary prick, so I thought I'd fit right in here.
Leavis  I think you should leave, sir, before I call the police.
Johnny  "I think you should leave, sir, before I..." Dude, it's the twenty-
        first century. Let me tell you something... You've got a job wiping
        rich pricks' asses, and for some reason you seem a little pleased with
        yourself.
Leavis  Will you leave?
Johnny  Trust me, man, nothing would please me more, but I'm supposed to see
        Tom Stubbs and, well, he said to meet him here.
Leavis  Oh, Mr. Stubbs, sir. Okay, you only had to say so, sir. Follow me, will
        you. Mr. Stubbs is in the day spa, receiving some back work.
Johnny  Right you are.
[They head into the back where Stubbs is getting a massage.]
Leavis  Mr. Stubbs. A gentleman for you.
Stubbs  Thank you, Leavis... And thank you.
[Leavis leaves.]
Stubbs  So you're David Grossman's friend?
Johnny  Oh yeah, we're old, old buddies.
Stubbs  Love the old boy network.
Johnny  Yeah, I can imagine. So what is it that you want?
Stubbs  Can you excuse us, sugar?
Sugar   Okay, sure.
Stubbs  And thank you, best massage I ever had that didn't involve a happy
        ending or a poignant sense of guilt afterwards.
Sugar   See you tomorrow.
[Stubbs gets to his feet, completely in the nude.]
Stubbs  Tom Stubbs. How do you do?
Johnny  Well, now that you mention it... I'm starting to feel a little queasy.
Stubbs  Don't be pathetic, and no secrets here, pal. Now, listen, I'm in a bit
        of a bother, sport.
Johnny  Well, I think they can fix that with surgery these days, you know.
Stubbs  Can we stop with the jokes? Grossman tells me you're reliable.
Johnny  Grossman? That guy's an asshole.
Stubbs  Look, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by pretending to be a
        good guy. I'm a politician. I'm a cynic. I'm very needy. I need people
        to like me. I need people to like me so that they elect me. I need
        people to elect me so that I feel marginally less bad about myself when
        I stare into the mirror. That being said, I try to do a good deed here
        and there.
Johnny  Democracy's a beautiful thing.
Stubbs  Personally, I'd prefer a benign dictatorship without the pretense of
        choice, but let's leave the political discussions, shall we?
Johnny  Yes, let's.
Stubbs  Unfortunately, an awful man has insured that my chance of being re-
        elected is pretty much zero.
Johnny  Why? Blackmail?
Stubbs  Not exactly. I need his money, and he hasn't died.
Johnny  What? You want me to kill your father?
Stubbs  No, that's disgusting. How could you suggest such a thing? My father
        died years ago, thank God. No, my uncle. That sanctimonious do-gooder
        controls the family trust.
Johnny  Whoa, that's heavy, man.
Stubbs  Yes, so is being arrested for drug-running and spending the next thirty
        years in prison. You and your little gang, I mean.
Johnny  I see. You make a wonderful politician.
Stubbs  I know. Now, you've got to get the old goat today. Make it spectacular.
        Make it appear as though it's a terrorist act - that'll do wonders for
        my campaign in all sorts of ways. Leavis will give you a package on
        the way out. Oh, and Klebitz, trust me... I am what I am, but I look
        out for those who help me.
Johnny  A blackmailer with a conscience, beautiful.



Something about faked terrorist acts gets me all excited, Klebitz. You can
either take out the chopper as it lands or deal with the convoy as it makes its
way out of the airport. By the way, I've got a man at the Southwest gate who
can help you if you get locked into the runway area. - TS III



My sources tell me you've been locked inside the airport. There's a man at the
Southwest gate who can attack it for you. - TS III



Stubbs  Okay, Klebitz. Give me the good news. I'm just about happy with the
        eulogy my researchers drafted up.
Johnny  Sadly, Stubbs, I'm not going to be able to disappoint you. Your uncle
        is no longer with us. For my conscience's sake, I hope your lack of
        humanity is a genetic quality.
Stubbs  Ah, he was a man of the people, a philanthropist, a pompous windbag and
        an occasional catamite, a typical Stubbs you might say. Sleep easy and
        drop into the club sometime soon.



Jim     Johnny, it's Jim, you wanna roll on some Deadbeats?
Johnny  What a fantastic idea, James. I'll see you at yours.
Jim     Great, man. See you soon.



Johnny  Hello there, James. How ya doin'?
Jim     Getting through it, brother - just about. Listen, that guy we stole
        those Angels of Death bikes for, he's got a whole shoppin' list of
        bikes he wants. You interested in procuring them for him?
Johnny  As long as it ain't gonna get us in the shit any more dirty cops.
Jim     Them cops ain't around no more. Get Angus on the wire when you're ready
        to roll. He's got the details. So long, brother.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 OFF ROUTE (#ts2)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Leavis  Ahh, Mr. Stubbs is expecting you.
Johnny  Hey, how ya doing, man?
Leavis  Oh yes, sir. Hello, sir. I'm fine.
Johnny  Good. Hey, let me ask you something... Do you really enjoy life?
Leavis  I don't really know what you mean, sir.
Johnny  I mean, does serving all these rich morons, you know... smell of money
        and all that stuff, you know, does that make you happy?
Leavis  Yes, sir, something like that. And tell me, sir, are you happy? I mean,
        has giving the man the, err, finger, really satisfied some inner urge
        within you, sir?
Johnny  Well, I think what I've learned is that there's always a man, dude. He
        just wears a different uniform.
Leavis  As you say, sir. Ah, Mr. Stubbs is in the steam room. Right this way.
[Leavis takes him in back to Stubbs.]
Stubbs  Klebitz! How ya doing, sport?
Johnny  Hey. I'm fully clothed in a steam room with a murdering politician,
        while my whole life falls to shit all around me. But fuck it, I'm
        alright. Miss your uncle?
Stubbs  Oh, I've doubled up on the therapy.
Johnny  Change your therapist.
Stubbs  Oh, but I've been seeing Dr. White since I was seven. The man's a
        genius.
Johnny  Okay. What can I do for you, man? I'm not really dressed for this and
        you said it was urgent.
Stubbs  Yes, well, there's been a clerical error down in the deepest recesses
        of the Civic Citadel. A group of outstanding civlians, voters, have
        mistakenly been taking into LCPD custody.
Johnny  Well, isn't there something you can do about that yourself, man? Pull
        some strings or something?
Stubbs  No, I'm afraid not sport, way too far down the line for that. Too much
        red tape, yadda yadda yadda... No, all you need to know is that, uh,
        these gentlemen are in a prison transport bus, and you, my friend, need
        to liberate them.
Johnny  Sure, I got it.
Stubbs  The bus is at the Leftwood Police Station. Get them out of there and we
        will make it worth your while.
Johnny  Okay, I got it.
Stubbs  Don't sweat it, Klebitz.





[Johnny hops into the bus and knocks out the driver. One of the prisoners grabs
the other policeman aboard and pulls him to the floor.]
Johnny  Whoa.
Guy     You're the best tasting thing I've had since I got locked up.
Johnny  That's intense. Alright! Since we've all, uh, eaten, we've got a new
        destination, people.
[Johnny throws the driver out and takes the wheel.]



Johnny  Can you keep it down? In case you ain't noticed, I'm trying to keep you
        boys outta prison.
Guy 2   The rendezvous is by the Globe Oil plant in the Acter Industrial Park.



Johnny  So, umm, what're you folks in for?
Guy     For these fellas it's white collar shenanigans. Caught with their hand
        in the cookie jar. My greed was of a... more corporeal nature.
Johnny  I'm gonna take that as meaning you were into some sick shit. Let's not
        discuss it.
Guy     As you wish, dear boy.
Johnny  I'm guessing it wasn't you I got paid to bail out anyways.
Guy     I doubt those who remember me think it a great idea that I am about to
        be roaming free again.
Johnny  Okey dokey then.



Guy     So, you're a motorcyclist? What hardware do you grip between those
        thighs? A panhead, shovelhead, V-twin?
Johnny  You a bike man?
Guy     I'm familiar with mechanics. I believe it's man's duty to take things
        apart and see how they work.
Johnny  Sure.
Guy     You learn so much from seeing the insides of things. Cars, bikes... we
        are all machines.
Johnny  You got real problems, brothers.
Guy     And everything in your garden is rosey. How nice! I wager one could
        learn a lot about my fellow prisoners by seeing how they're wired.
Johnny  Learn all you like, just wait until I'm paid, mister.



Guy     Thank you, sir. My fellow prisoners and I are most grateful. We've got
        a boat to catch. [singing as he leaves] Oh, I do like to be beside the
        seaside. Oh, I do like to be beside the sea. Oh, I do like to walk
        along the prom, prom, prom, where the brass bands play fidaly bum, bum,
        bum, bum.
Johnny  Bon voyage.



Johnny  Your friends are out to sea, Mr. Stubbs. Good luck to them. I think
        they'll need it.
Stubbs  Oh, don't you worry, those boys don't need luck. You shoulda seen them
        in '73. Believe me, a short recession and a trip to Panama isn't going
        to finish those boys off. All traders by blood. Great genes.
Johnny  I was thinking their problem might lie with one of the other passengers
        on their little cruise. Later on, Mr. Congressman.



Stubbs  Ah, Johnny boy, how's it going out there?
Johnny  More shit storm than steam room, Congressman. We weren't all born into
        money.
Stubbs  No, some of us married into it. Ha ha ha.
Johnny  And some of us killed for it. You got any work for me, man?
Stubbs  Well, now that you mention it, there might be a few things that need to
        be handled discretely. Call me if you feel up to it, sport. Bye now.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 COMING DOWN (#ab1)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Johnny  Ash?
Ashley  Johnny boy? John. I need some help.
Johnny  I ain't got a hand-out for ya. Sorry.
Ashley  A hand-out ain't gonna fix it, Johnny boy. I'm into something bad. I
        need a knight in shining armor to take me away from this mess. They're
        gonna kill me... or worse.
Johnny  Jesus, Ash. Where are ya?
Ashley  Some project on Wardite. Come quick, baby.
Johnny  I'll try.



Ashley  You here, Johnny?
Johnny  I'm close. Which apartment are you in?
Ashley  Shit, Johnny, I don't know. It had a red door. Hurry up, I'm crashing
        hard.



Ashley  Johnny, Johnny, they're gonna hurt me bad.
Johnny  Don't worry, Ash, I'm coming. I just need some help finding it.
Ashley  Can't you hear us? These freaks are partying real hard, man. Please.



Ashley  I can't wait much longer, sugar.
Johnny  I need more information, Ash.
Ashley  Just look for the strung-out tweekers. Please. Come on, baby.





Johnny  These guys can't hurt you no more, baby. You sure know how to get
        yourself into trouble, don't ya, baby?
Ashley  And you sure know how to get me out, Johnny.
Johnny  Come 'ere. [helping her up]
Ashley  What's wrong? I don't want to hang out here. Can we go?
Johnny  I don't wanna hang out here neither. Then again, I'm not the one
        messing up my head on a week-long ice binge.
Ashley  I remember when you used to mess around at my place, that don't happen
        any more either. Take me home, man, I'm crashing hard.



Johnny  You alright?
Ashley  I'm with you now, Johnny boy. How could I not be?
Johnny  How long you been up? Two days? Three?
Ashley  Who's counting?
Johnny  It ain't good for you, you know that.
Ashley  Sure, sure. Do you expect me to stay clean when you're not there to
        look after me?
Johnny  Maybe if you answered your calls... Fuck, whatever.
Ashley  Okay, I'm bad, baby. I know it. You should teach me a lesson. Hit me or
        something. Teach me I'm wrong.
Johnny  Enough of that.
Ashley  Teach me, baby. It's the only way I'll learn. Make me hurt.
Johnny  You're making yourself hurt already, you fucking idiot.
Ashley  Hit me.
Johnny  Give me a break, sweetheart. I used to fucking love you.
Ashley  You're too sweet for words, Johnny boy. You think I'm sweet too?
Johnny  You ain't good for me, sugar. That's all I know.



Johnny  God, Ashley. Sometimes I wish I didn't care about you.
Ashley  Oh, baby. You don't mean that, do you? You're all I've got.
Johnny  Me and the crystal, of course.
Ashley  I told you, I'm not friends with Tina no more. I ain't gonna lose me to
        meth...
Johnny  Well, you lost me to it.
Ashley  So, Billy's back. How's things?
Johnny  Don't you know? Haven't you two been seeing anything of each other?
Ashley  No... yeah. He's around, isn't he?
Johnny  Something's around. Not the Billy I knew. Not the Billy that me want to
        lead this life in the first place.
Ashley  Oh man, Johnny. You keep talking about how people have changed. Don't
        you think maybe you're the one who's different?
Johnny  Fuck you, Ashley. I ain't changed. I stuck to the code I set myself.
        You try and live by what makes sense, take your own path, and it burns
        you out.
Ashley  You're funny, Johnny. You care about everyone else when they're fire.
        And you end up tying yourself in a knot.
Johnny  Yeah, everything in my life's fucking fantastic.



Johnny  Hm. Nice place you got here, sugar.
Ashley  Not now, honey. I ain't feelin' so good.
Johnny  I thought you'd said you stopped smoking that stuff?
Ashley  I did, Johnny boy, I did. I promise. I never lied to you.
Johnny  Come on, baby. That's crap and you know it.
Ashley  I never lied to you when I was sober.
Johnny  Well, my whole life's falling to shit, sweetheart. I guess it was dumb
        of me to think this would be any different.
Ashley  I'm sorry. I know I ain't much, but I'm all yours. You do know that,
        baby, don't you?
Johnny  If you say so.
Ashley  I love you, Johnny. Thanks for saving me again.
Johnny  Yeah, yeah.
Ashley  Hey, you know what? We're better than this. We can... we can live
        better than this.
Johnny  Yeah, well let's hope so.
Ashley  Say the word, honey. Take that bike. We'll ride off into the sunset,
        you and me.
Johnny  You, me, and that little habit of yours.
Ashley  You're my habit, Johnny. [coughing]
Johnny  And you are ridiculous.



Ashley  If it isn't my white knight. My saviour. Johnny K.
Johnny  I ain't your saviour, baby. I might have beaten up a few pimps and
        pushers, but I'm never gonna save you from yourself. I learned that a
        long time ago.
Ashley  That's the old me. I'm clean now. I'm off the meth, and all that shit.
Johnny  Didn't seem like that when I last saw you. Just checking you're okay.
        Bye, Ash.



Angus   Jonathan. What's happening in the world of the walking?
Johnny  Same old shit, man. Saw Ashley.
Angus   Of course you did. How is the old girl? Still the same spark?
Johnny  The only spark left is in her meth pipe. That shit's killing her.
Angus   Fuck, I seen what it does to some of the brothers, man. If you love her
        enough, you can help her.
Johnny  It's past that, dude. We're over. Long gone.
Angus   But you're still helping her out of fixes? If it's over, you got to end
        it completely.
Johnny  Yeah, I know it, but you know me, always had a soft spot for someone in
        trouble. Thanks for the advice, man.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 THIS SHIT'S CURSED (#bg6)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



We need your input in a discussion, John. Come in the house.



Billy   Why aren't you here, Johnny?
Johnny  What's the problem?
Billy   The problem is we can't have a real discussion, and can't solve any
        real fuckin' problems, if you aren't gonna come to the house and sit
        down with your brothers. Are you too good for that now, Johnny?
Johnny  No, man, I'm coming. Chill the fuck out.



Jim     Billy, I just don't see how we have a choice, man.
Billy   I have a choice. I'm free, I'm not a slave, I have a choice. Jim, I
        love you man, but since you've hit middle age, you've really lost
        something...
Jim     Yeah, and since you've fucking been strung out on this shit you've lost
        something - your fucking mind.
Brian   Easy Jim, look who the fuck you're speaking to, huh?
Johnny  [enters] What's up?
Billy   Hey, I'm just trying to explain to our friend here that possession is
        nine tenths of the law - we should make the slopes pay us back.
Terry   [shouting] Billy, I've got Chad on the phone!
Johnny  Pay us back for what?
Billy   Look, we have a business opportunity here, Johnny. I think a guy like
        you should be pleased.
Johnny  Yeah, but Jim says there's some problem.
Jim     There is. That H we stole - it belonged to the Chinese. The Deadbeats
        told them we got it and they want it back.
Johnny  So? Fuck 'em.
Billy   Finally!
Terry   [walks over] Billy, Chad's on the phone about the meeting.
[Billy flips him off, he walks back.]
Jim     Look, normally I'd be down for that, but these aren't the type of dudes
        you say "fuck 'em" to. They're some heavily-armed, pissed off
        motherfuckers, who killed a couple of Angels when they found out their
        shit was gone. Now, I'm thinking maybe we can strike up a deal with
        them.
Johnny  Okay.
Billy   Okay? Why don't you just suck 'em off while you're at it? [shouting]
        And tell Chad I'm sober as can be over here.
Johnny  Look, I just think that given this war we're back into with the Angels
        of Death, and given the fact that one or possibly two government
        agencies are looking into our shit, that offloading the heroin would be
        a good idea, alright? And looking for a fight is the wrong thing to do
        right now, given the fact that we can't even stop fighting amongst
        ourselves!
Billy   Yeah, you're right, we probably should all get into a circle, hold
        hands, pray, and sing Kum Ba Yah.
Brian   [laughing] Kum Ba Yah!
Johnny  Yeah, whatever... This ain't no laughing matter, Billy. We'll either
        end up dead in the ground, or back in the lockup with you!
Billy   I ain't going back there. I'd rather be dead.
Brian   Damn straight.
Johnny  Well you don't have to do either, man. I just think that getting rid of
        that stuff now is the right thing to do.
[Billy looks over at Brian who shrugs.]
Billy   Okay.



Johnny  Cops are poking around, Bill. We should chill out.
Billy   You haven't been talking, have you? Don't go forgetting what happened
        when Horse sang his little ditty.
Johnny  I'll never talk to a pig. But there's a lesson to be learned, alright.



Billy   Johnny, you're wasting away, man. I think it's all the worrying you do.
        Why don't you hit the weights later?
Johnny  You're not as big as those days when you hit the 'roids either,
        William.
Billy   My arms might not be, but there's other parts that are a lot bigger now
        that I'm off the drugs. Just ask Ashley.



Brian   Giving it up to the slopes, it don't feel right.
Johnny  Well, Billy says we're doing it. So get doing it.
Brian   I'm not the one with the authority problem, Johnny.



Johnny  You ever had a girlfriend, Brian?
Brian   Not gonna waste my time with that crap. I got the brothers. All the
        hole I need at the house, man. Yeah!
Johnny  Too right, man. Guy like you shouldn't waste his time with all that
        shit.



Jim     I'm surprised Billy agreed to this. It's the first smart move he's made
        since gettin' out of rehab.
Johnny  Yeah. Maybe he's starting to calm down.
Jim     Maybe he's stuck too much of that brown into his arm, then.



Johnny  How'd you find out that H belonged to the Triads?
Jim     They got word out all over town. Brought it into Liberty on a ship
        called the Platypus a few weeks back.
Johnny  Shit, Jim. You're just a font of information, aren't you?



Billy   Alright. Jim, Johnny, since you two were both so vocal in support of
        this deal, you two are going to be the ones to hand over the brown to
        the slopes.
Johnny  What? What are you and your boy here going to be doing?
Billy   We are gonna watch your backs, because unlike this fat man here, I just
        don't trust those little yellow bastards. Good luck.
Brian   Hey, they don't need luck, we're looking out for them.
Johnny  This better be cool, man.
[Johnny and Jim walk inside.]
Brian   So Johnny, this, uh, umm...
[They encounter the Triads on the top floor and set the heroin down.]
Jim     Okay.
Johnny  We gonna be cool and do this thing?
Triad   So let me get this straight. You are here to sell us back our heroin?
        The heroin my cousins sweated over in order to bring to this country
        only to have it stolen?
Johnny  Look, man, we can do business or go to war, it's your call.
[The Triads pull out guns and grab the cases of heroin. Johnny and Jim run.]
Triad   In this country they seem to be the same thing, you stupid pieces of
        shit!
Johnny  Fuck you!





[Johnny and Jim watch from above as Billy is surrounded by police.]
Billy   You set me up, Johnny! You set me up!
LCPD    Put your hands in the air. Now!
Billy   Fuck you, Johnny! You're dead!
LCPD    Shut your God damn mouth, shut your mouth!
Billy   You're dead!
LCPD    Shut up!
[They arrest Billy.]
Johnny  This shit is fucked up.



Brian   Johnny Klebitz.
Johnny  Brian, man. Shit's fucked. Billy's been taken down. Where are you?
Brian   Bill, yeah, he's fucked now. Thanks to you. I'm around the corner.
Johnny  We're coming. Wait there.



Johnny  Important question, Brian. What happened there? Billy said these Triads
        were ready to deal.
Brian   You must have fucked shit up, Johnny. Billy never wanted to make nice
        in the first place.
Johnny  Fine, okay. I'm just hoping my brothers didn't send me into an ambush.
Brian   Why couldn't you save Billy?
Jim     What do you mean? Johnny and I were getting jumped. Why weren't you
        helping Billy?
Brian   I had to help myself, man. I mean, I can't be expected to... Billy
        doesn't have any beef, he's not trucking any bad shit with me.
Johnny  Brian, man, what the fuck were you and Billy doing while those Triads
        jumped on me and Jim?
Brian   We were watching your back, man. Looking out for you brothers. Doing
        more than you did for Billy.
Jim     That's bullshit. If you were looking out for us, where were you when me
        and Johnny had to fight our way outta there? Johnny, man. We got to
        have a meet for all the brothers when we get back. Tell 'em what
        happened.
Brian   Yeah. I'm real keen to tell the brothers what went down.
Johnny  Alright, Brian. I'd like to know what the fuck went down as well.
Jim     You're gonna have to take over the chapter presidency, Johnny. Only
        thing for it.
Brian   Not if I got anything to say on it. Not if Billy hears about this.
Jim     Save it for Church, Brian.



Brian   Jesus. That was heavy, man. Fuck it.
Johnny  What was Billy's fucking problem?
Brian   Nothing wrong with him, buddy. You two want us to end up all dead? Man,
        Billy was right about you. I knew you were a rat, now he's gone, man.
Johnny  He's not dead.
Brian   You ratted him out! You ratted him out!
Johnny  No I didn't. He nearly got me fucking killed.
Brian   You set us up. You've always wanted to be the one - the man. You're a
        gimp, Johnny. A gimp and a fucking Judas.
Johnny  What the fuck are you talking about, you ass kissing little weasel?
Jim     Hey, Brian, Johnny's not like that, man.
Brian   Jim, you're wrong, man. I know you're a good guy, but this Jew prick,
        he fucked us over, man. He set us up and he called the cops. And you
        know why? Because they're putting heat on him. They saw him and they've
        been calling him... I know, because they did the same to me, and they
        told me you ratted us out.
Johnny  You keep talking like that and you are dead, my little friend.
Brian   Fuck you, man.
Johnny  What?
Brian   You sent Billy to jail. Show us your phone, prove you ain't been
        speaking to the law.
Johnny  I don't prove shit to you and I didn't talk to no one. Fuck it...
        C'mon!
Jim     You stay away from us, you hear?
[Johnny and Jim run around the corner.]
Johnny  Okay, Jim. I guess I got to take over as Chapter President now. When
        people hear about Billy going down, there's gonna be more pressure on
        us than ever. We got to get through it. Brothers for life, man, Lost
        forever. I'll see you soon.



Angus   Hey, Johnny.
Johnny  Did you hear?
Angus   I heard. How you feel about the chapter presidency?
Johnny  I wish it didn't have to be this way, but we don't got much choice.
Angus   That crown feeling heavy, is it? For what it's worth, I'd follow you,
        man. I'm sure the other brothers will too. Those that're worth having
        behind you, at least.
Johnny  Those that aren't gonna stab me in the back. You gonna go see Billy? I
        don't think I can after what he said.
Angus   He wouldn't want me there either. Adios, Johnny boy, chapter president.



angus@LostMC.com
LOST MC

Brother,
So it's come to this. The Lost MC showing that it was all a load of bullshit
and all them oaths we swore really never meant shit to anyone. Well, Johnny,
you got my blessing. I'm with you, all the way. If I weren't in a fucking
chair, I'd kill them fucks myself. They ain't human beings, let alone brothers.
They are scum. Real low life scum. You got my blessing. Do what's got to be
done.
Ride safe,
Angus



Amen to that brother.



Shit's fucked up brother.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 HIT THE PIPE (#jf3)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Jim     I'm just an American - I like an American bike.
Malc    Yeah, I understand. You older, grandpa, so you like a more sedate ride.
        Some older, mature shit.
Jim     I'll give you mature shit, Malc.
[Johnny walks up.]
Jim     Hey.
Malc    Hey, yo, who that?
Jim     Malc, DeSean, Johnny. Brother of mine.
Malc    Aight?
Johnny  Hey.
DeSean  Wassup?
Jim     Malc's got us a connection, Johnny.
Johnny  I'm good, man, I don't need one of them hairdryers.
Malc    Oh yeah, you sure now?
Jim     No, no, some serious hardware. Malc's got us a connection that ain't
        got nothing to do with bikes.
Johnny  Oh yeah?
Jim     Yeah. Explosives.
Malc    That's right.
Johnny  Okay.
Jim     With this, we could take the Angels of Death out of business for a
        long, long time.
Johnny  Oh, you think? With that it looks like we could take the whole fucking
        town out of business.
Jim     So what do you say... Are you down?
Johnny  Aw man, you got to ask a question like that? Looks like you're going
        senile or something, man.
Jim     That's what I thought you'd say.
Malc    Yo, you fools have fun. But remember this - you get into any trouble,
        you ain't meet me.
Johnny  Malc, I don't know where you got that shit, man, but one thing's for
        sure, we will have fun.
Malc    Aight, play nice.
Jim     Later, Malc.
Johnny  Later.





Jim     Jonathan?
Johnny  Job done, my man. Those Deadbeats ain't a problem and you introduced me
        to your new friends.
Jim     Yeah, Malc and DeSean are good guys. No bullshit. Apart from the
        hairdryers they ride. Seriously, man. You should start using the
        brothers more now that you're in charge. Give Terry or Clay a call if
        you ever need some help on club business. Might even do them some good
        to get off their asses. Later on.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 END OF CHAPTER (#jf4)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Jim     Hey, here comes the big man.
Johnny  Gentlemen.
Jim     What's happening Johnny?
Johnny  Hey, what's the plan?
Jim     We spoke to that fat fuck Brian. He wants to sit down, call a truce.
Johnny  Brian wants a truce? Fuck that, let's go get him.
Jim     That's what I thought you'd say.



Jim     Looking forward to seeing Brian?
Johnny  Maybe you should do the talking, man. I don't know if I can trust
        myself.
Jim     Hey man, last thing I want is to talk to that sniveling little shit
        bag.
Johnny  These are tough times. How's Jackie feel about what's going down?
Jim     She just doesn't want to see the kid grow up without a father.
Johnny  None of us do, James. Don't worry about that.



Jim     I got another one of those calls from the cops or the feds or whoever.
Johnny  What'd you say to 'em?
Jim     I told them to go fuck themselves. I may be an asshole, but I won't
        talk about my brothers. That much I do know. When this shit calms down,
        you should come round and see the kid.
Johnny  Yeah, I'd like that.
Jim     Jackie cooks a mean pot roast, man. I live for that shit.



Brian   Here comes Tweedle Dum and Tweedle fucking Dumber. Billy was always
        good to you and you ratted him out.
Johnny  Billy is a one-way SOB, and he don't give a shit about the brothers.
Brian   No, nuh-uh.
Johnny  You think Billy'd stick his neck out for you? You're dumber than I
        thought.
Brian   "You're dumber than I thought, you're dumber than I thought." I knew
        you'd say, just knew you'd say that. You're so predictable, Johnny
        Little-dick-o-witz.
Jim     Waaaa. What a baby.
Johnny  Yeah, and your babysitter Billy is on the inside now. So it's bedtime
        for you, motherfucker. Get the fuck out of town.
Brian   Not your call, Jew boy. You're the one taking a nap. Put these assholes
        in the ground, brothers.



Jim     Looks like we're about all that's left of the Alderney chapter, man.
Johnny  We don't need numbers, man. We need brothers. And that's what we got
        left - you, me, Angus, Terry, Clay - brothers.
Jim     You're right about that.
Johnny  Shit, I wish we'd pinned down Brian. That little weasel.
Jim     He'll turn up soon enough.
Johnny  Yeah. Maybe. See you soon, brother.



Angus   My brother.
Johnny  Just when you thought shit couldn't get worse...
Angus   You go and start a civil war.
Johnny  Hey, Brian fucking started it. No, wait, fucking Billy started it.
Angus   That don't sound very presidential.
Johnny  Well, I'm president of a bunch of Alderney piss lickers, not the whole
        nation, so I'm gonna sound how I like, that being my fucking
        presidential right.
Angus   Alright, man. I'm just saying, do what's best for the brothers. Not
        what's best for your pride.
Johnny  I will, dude. Later on.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 BAD STANDING (#jf5)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Ray     Gentlemen.
Jim     Johnny. You remember Ray, right?
Johnny  Yeah. How you doing?
Ray     How'm I doin'? I got the feds all over me, I got a bossz who's a
        paranoid wreck, and I got a guy above me in the foodchain with a brain
        like an overcooked artichoke. Things are great.
Johnny  Yeah? Sounds like shit to me, but whatever. So, uh, why are you here?
Ray     I heard you boys were having a little internal dispute.
Johnny  Where'd you hear that from?
Ray     From Ashley.
Johnny  You friends with Ashley?
Ray     Everybody's friends with Ashley, tough guy... [laughing] Ah, you know,
        she's a good kid and all. A little messed up, but, you know, she needed
        a friend.
Jim     Ray told us where Brian is.
Johnny  Oh yeah, where? And how the hell does he know?
Ray     Alright, alright, alright. Don't go breakin' my balls, alright? I
        talked to Brian a half an hour ago. And listen, I understand where you
        guys are coming from - and on one hand, I don't give a shit. Bunch of
        grease monkeys want to have an all-out gangbang, be my guest. You're
        all adults. Sort of. But right now, I need calm. Billy's on the inside,
        I need a steady flow of merchandise, so it's in my interest to see that
        you boys calm things down. End this little squabble and get back to
        work. See yous later.
Jim     Yeah, see ya later, Ray... So what do ya think, Johnny?
Johnny  I think that guy makes my skin crawl, but now that you mention it, so
        does Brian, and right now he's our problem.
Terry   God dammit, Brian was my brother.
Johnny  Yeah he was, but so were a lot of people. I don't feel like that shit
        means too much anymore.
Jim     So?
Johnny  So I'm going to go pay Brian a visit, see just what that fat fucker's
        problem is. See y'all later.



Brian   Please, Johnny, please. I'll be good. I'll leave and never come back.
        You wouldn't kill a brother, you wouldn't. I'll be a ghost man, gone!
        You swore an oath, Johnny. Don't do this to your brother, man. I'll get
        out of town. Lost MC forever, my brother. Don't do it. I'll leave the
        city, I promise you, man. Billy put me up to it, please. I'll
        disappear. Johnny, man. Billy put me up to it. I'll get out of town.



Brian   I'm sorry! Please!
Johnny  Come on. For once, do not be a bitch. You've got to take it like a man.
[Johnny shoots him in the head.]
Johnny  Fuck you, Brian.



Jim     Jonathan, where's Brian?
Johnny  Halfway to Hell, my brother. We don't need to worry about that little
        fucker pulling nothing.
Jim     Well, until Billy gets out of prison, at least. Stay in touch.



Johnny  I couldn't do it to a brother, even him. He's dead inside anyway.



Jim     Johnny?
Johnny  James, I couldn't do it, man. He's getting out of town. It's hard to
        kill a man when he isn't behaving like one.
Jim     I know what you mean. Let's just hope he's not planning anything else.
        Later on, man.



You should sleep in Brian's old apartment - he won't be turning up there again.
Sure beats that old bed at the clubhouse.



capnklebitz@grype.org
key bro

Dear John,
I hope this mail finds you well and happy and law abiding. I doubt the later,
but a brother can hope, can't he? I got shot at yesterday and saw someone have
their leg blown off. I saw three kids die last week. My life is one long orgy
of death and horror. At least I know I am on the right side. I miss you, man.
You have a heart. What about the life you chose led you to make such stupid
choices? Billy Grey? Give me a break. He always was an arsehole. Back in the
neighborhood, he was a jackass thinking he was Jesus on an acid trip when we
were fifteen and you were 10. That was a long time ago. I hope you don't still
look up to that asshole, pardon my fucking French. You will throw your life
way. For a guy who wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. I know we've been
over this a thousand times, but my life is kind of stressful right now.
Look after yourself,
Mikey



Thanks for your input Mikey. I miss you, man. I think about you, but I made
different choices to you. Doesn't seem like either of our choices panned out so
good. We both get shot at. And both of us are fighting other people's battles.
Look after yourself. John.



Blah, Blah, Blah. At least I know what I'm fighting for. Look after yourself.
John.



capnklebitz@grype.org
RE:hey bro

John,
You always were a smart ass with all the answers. I have a country. You have
nothing. Mom and Dad were right about you, you smug little shit. I will fuck
you up when I see you. Mark my words. Disrespecting me like that. And my
country. My country. I've seen men die for that shit, you junkie piece of shit.
And happily. You would only die for drugs or money. You're a rat, not a man.
Your brother,
Mikey



I love you too bro. And out of a place of love I make one comment - you get on
some very strong medication to deal with the fact you've lost your fucking
mind, you messianic dip shit.



Whoa. Dude? You should talk to a head doctor.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 HEAVY TOLL (#et1)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Johnny! I spoke to your friend Jim and he says you need work. He's sending a
friend of his called Malc as well. Meet me at the apartment. - Liz



Andreas You know, chico, hold up. Where you think you're going, man? You got to
        hold up in here, I'm talking to you, alright?
Lizzy   Johnny! Back off of him, you stupid shit. Can't you tell the difference
        between a narc and one of my upstanding business associates? I'm sorry
        about Andreas here. It's impossible to find good help in this city.
Johnny  Don't worry about it.
Andreas I'm supposed to protect you, okay? It's my job.
Malc    What up, Johnny boy? We talked to your girl. Let's make it happen,
        captain.
Lizzy   I didn't you Lost bikers got down with peoples like Malc here. Them
        with their sports bikes, you with your choppers. Hell, looking at the
        two of you don't make no sense to me. It's a crazy city.
Johnny  Well, this is crazy times, Liz. There's a recession going on, and in
        this troubling economic climate, you gotta make compromises. Malc here
        is my compromise.
Malc    Yo, fuck you clown. You can compromise these nuts. Gimme some.
        [handshake]
Lizzy   Shit, these ain't troubling times for us. People always gonna want what
        we got to sell. Hell, they going to want even more product when they
        lose their jobs and ain't got nothin' else.
Johnny  Okay, I guess all we gotta worry about is the cops taking us down then?
Malc    True that, cat. Hey yo, E, let him know what it is.
Lizzy   You gotta take some thieving, snitching motherfuckers, and show them
        I'm a bitch, but I ain't their fucking bitch, okay? They bribed a guard
        on the East Borough Bridge to let 'em through without checking their
        load, right? You guys is gonna go down there and tear 'em apart.
        Entiende?
Malc    There it is...
DeSean  A'ight.
Lizzy   Now get the fuck out of here.
Malc    We out.
DeSean  A'ight, we out.
Malc    Okay ma, peace.
Andreas What you waitin' for, the bus?
Lizzy   Andreas!
Malc    Watch your mouth, son.
Andreas Fuck you.
[Johnny, Malc, and the other bikers leave.]
Lizzy   Make yourself useful and clean this shit up!
Andreas Okay, okay, but you know what, I'm gonna need some rubber gloves. I'm
        gonna be honest, okay...



Johnny  I think we better take a cage on this run. Can you get your people to
        bring our bikes to the drop-off?
Malc    Aight now, try not to do too much damage with this here, a'ight?
DeSean  Lead the way, Johnny.



Malc    What was all that shit with you dissing me in front of Elizabeta, man?
Johnny  I thought you could handle it.
Malc    I can handle it, motherfucker. She's just one cold female, and I don't
        want her thinking I'm a bitch.
Johnny  Then I guess you got to prove yourself. No pressure, man.
Malc    Go fuck yourself, Johnny.



Malc    This is one serious gun, amigo. This what they call a street sweeper?
Johnny  That's about accurate for this shit. It'll carve through any
        motherfuckers dumb enough to stand down wind of us.
Malc    No doubt.
Johnny  I'm guessing Liz wants this convoy iht like a fucking freight train if
        this is the firepower she's dishing out.
Malc    Should be interesting.



Johnny  It's good to roll with you, Malc. Not that we know each other too well.
        But you can't be a bigger mope than the last two fuckups Liz Torres had
        me partying with.
Malc    Calm down.
Johnny  Uh huh. This fool called Playboy X and some off-the-boat European. No
        surprise, the deal went to shit.



Man     Honey, you're doing so great. I'm going to take care of this, we're
        going to get through this.
LCPD    You've got to be kidding me. What's the problem?
Man     It's okay, you just breathe.
LCPD    You're holding traffic up. What's the problem?
Man     Hey, we're kind of in a rush here, okay? Honey, it's okay, just
        breathe.
LCPD    Listen to me, man, you gotta get outta the way. You're holding up
        traffic. What's the problem here?
Man     Remember the classes, okay? Would you just let us through?
LCPD    Look, you don't go exact change, you're not going through. Those are
        the rules. I don't make 'em, but I stick to 'em. So just turn around
        and head on back to Dukes for me, will ya?
Man     Are you kidding me? Look, I will come back with all the exact change
        that you need. Alright? Just let us through, please?
LCPD    You gonna pay my bills and put food on the table? Turn around now...
Johnny  Hey look, I got some change right here.
[Johnny elbows the officer in the face and Malc knocks him out from behind.]
LCPD    Aaargh, ahh!
Malc    A'ight, this one's on us. Now move your ass.
Man     Thanks guys. You're doing great, honey. It's okay, just come with me.
Malc    A'ight now, let's do this.



Malc    Take us to the Point, Johnny. We got a lockup there.



Johnny  So, Malcolm, I got a question for you.
Malc    Sure thing, Jonathan. Shoot.
Johnny  Well, Malcolm, it's your crew. The Uptown Riders. Are you a-a
        motorcycle club like us and the Angels of Death?
Malc    I don't know. I mean, we ride bikes and we ride them hard. But the
        thing is, we don't wear fancy dresses or do pinky finger shakes or
        anything like that. So I ain't sure what that makes us.
Johnny  We're adults here, Malcolm.
Malc    Allegedly, Johnny boy. Allegedly.
Johnny  So let's not let this descend into an argument about the merits of good
        American machinery versus foreign plastic fantastic crap.
Malc    Or why you guys look like rejects from a bondage club.
Johnny  Or why you guys dress like the Republican Space Rangers.
Malc    Ouch.
Johnny  Anyway, what I'm asking is, what's the deal with this music you put out
        and the branded clothing and shit?
Malc    It's just part of our vibe, man. Roll with it.
Johnny  The vibe?
Malc    Yeah, man. The vibe. It's how we do. You know we a complete subculture.
        Like you guys used to be, back in about, what, '63 or something?
        Completely fucking lost, if you ask me.
Johnny  We've still got heart, man. The Lost MC are still here. We just don't
        get on MeTV and scream about it.
Malc    Yeah, sure you are. Whatever you say, Johnny boy.



Malc    Whoo! Well now, that's  fine little nest egg to get us through a low
        point in these here global markets, baby.
Johnny  Sure, Malc. I'm just hoping you, me, and Liz can stay outta jail long
        enough to enjoy it. Later on.



Lizzy   Johnny, did you get rid of that stupid bike of yours and drive my van
        for me?
Johnny  Yeah, I did, and it handled like a piece of shit. I dumped it in the
        lockup you mentioned, if you're interested.
Lizzy   Not in the van, baby. But maybe I'm itnerested in what's in the back of
        it. I'll send Andreas to check it out. See you soon.



A friend of mine asked me to pass on the number of her boyfriend's cab
business. It's called Bellic Enterprises and it's 555-2222. - Liz


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 MARTA FULL OF GRACE (#et2)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Lizzy   [to phone, waving gun around] No, uh, speak up, I can't hear what
        you're saying.
Johnny  [enters] Easy.
Lizzy   Oh, it's you. One second. [to phone] No, all you gotta do is walk
        through customs and you home free... Esta bien. Yeah. I'll see you
        soon... Don't worry about my friend Johnny. He's uh- he's ugly, but he
        don't bite. [hangs up] Andreas! Andreas!
Andreas [enters] Okay... okay...
Lizzy   Why do I pay you to protect me when you don't do nothing?
Andreas I was in the kitchen. I was doing the thing you told me...
Lizzy   I don't want no fucking excuses. Get the fuck back in the kitchen.
Andreas Okay, okay. [exits]
Lizzy   Jesus! Hey, Johnny boy.
Johnny  What's up?
Lizzy   You had a good time the other day with those boys, huh? Men and their
        motorcycles.
Johnny  Sure. Why'd we need to hit that convoy so hard? You know all those
        bodies can't be good for your business.
Lizzy   You don't think I could survive out here if I wasn't dropping some
        people? I'm the big boss.
Johnny  Okay.
Lizzy   People gonna love you, but they gonna hate you even more, right?
Johnny  Now you're starting to sound like Billy.
Lizzy   They gonna hate you because you a woman in this macho fuckin' world.
        They gonna hate you 'cause you from the Island. Stupid people think
        Latinas ain't worth shit in this town. When you the big boss, and you
        me, these bodies got to come with it.
Johnny  Okay.
Lizzy   I came up from a rough background. Man tried to turn me out when I was
        fourteen years old... I fed him his balls!
Johnny  I'm just saying you should limit your casualties.
Lizzy   When I ended that fucker, I got a reputation in PR. No man touched me
        after that. I ain't saying all men are bad, I wouldn't have married
        three of them if I thought that, right? [laughing]
Johnny  Alright, let's do this, Liz.
Lizzy   Okay, okay, go get my girl, Marta. She just came in on the Adios flight
        from PR. You think this place look okay? It's so hard to get it nice
        again once the assholes have their party.
Johnny  Yeah, it's fine. She'll love it.
Lizzy   Yeah? Okay...
[Johnny leaves.]
Lizzy   Andreas!
Andreas [returns] Si?
Lizzy   You fucking missed a spot!
Andreas I missed a spot? No?
Lizzy   Come fluff these pillows and get that spot off my couch.



[Marta is speaking rapid Spanish as she exits the terminal.]
Guy     What?... Huh?... Habla Ingles? Huh? Habla you're gonna suck American
        penis when you get into holding.
Marta   Liberty Swingers good team, eh?
Guy     Well... drug mule skanks ain't usually this cute. This is gonna be fun.
        Come on, baby.
Johnny  Hey, yo! Yo! I don't know about you, but the America I believe in
        doesn't deport hard working young girls like this one.
Guy     Yeah, well, the only thing this girl works hard at is swallowing bags
        of coke, and, in a minute, blowing me. So, sir, excuse me...
Johnny  Hey, hold on! Your name Marta?
Marta   Si! Si!
Johnny  [knees the guy] You're coming with me. C'mon, keep your head down!



Johnny  Me, you go Liz Torres place. Yes? Okay?



Johnny  You, Marta, first time in Liberty City?
Marta   [translated] Liberty City. Swingers Baseball. Statue of Happiness. Ugly
        women. Sleazy politicians. Gun crime. The most self-absorbed place on
        Earth. Yes, Liberty City.
Johnny  Liberty City. Very good. You learn good. I mean, you're learning very
        well.
Marta   [translated] You are not exactly who I expected, Mr. Johnny. So, now we
        are going to the five star hotel?
Johnny  Me no hablo mucho Spanish, lady.
Marta   [translated] I need a shower after this terrible welcome. Ughh. I'm
        nauseated. You have any idea how many condoms filled with cocaine I
        have in my small intestine? I hope nothing has ruptured.
Johnny  No speakey e Spanish, Marta. I'm sorry.



Johnny  Johnny Klebitz. Nice to meet you.
Marta   Okay, Johnny. [translated] My name is Marta.
Johnny  Marta. Okay then. Not exactly the best welcome you could expect, but
        that's Liberty City for you. Full of surprises and most of them bad.
Marta   [translated] Are you talking about what happened to the guards? If you
        are smuggling tens of thousands of dollars worth of cocaine into a
        country, you cannot expect smiles and kisses.
Johnny  Uhh, yeah. Whatever, darling. You and Liz Torres old friends? You, Liz
        amigos?
Marta   [translated] Elizabeta and me? We met in Puerto Rico, on a very hot
        night. We fuck, yes, but it is nothing serious.
Johnny  Elizabeta, I only work for her now because things are weird with my
        brothers. Hombres. Lost MC.
Marta   [translated] Ah, I see. You pretend to be macho, but you like members
        of the same sex, as I do. How crazy.
Johnny  Loco, yeah. I get loco.
Marta   [translated] Sometimes I ask myself if it's all worth it. They could've
        shot me. And these condoms floating inside my belly could burst at any
        moment.
Johnny  Yeah, uh, maybe want to go out sometime? Let me show you around?
Marta   [translated] I take all the risks. And for what? A few measly hundred
        bucks, a trip to Liberty City, and another night or two with Elizabeta.
        At least she's good in bed.
Johnny  Maybe the language barrier might be an insurmountable hindrance in this
        relationship.



Johnny  Okay. Here we are.
Marta   [translated] This? Okay then. Thank you, Johnny. I will see you soon.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 SHIFTING WEIGHT (#et3)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I got some work for you and Malc. Some see me. - Liz



Johnny  What's up, Liz?
Lizzy   I got work, Johnny. You should be grateful. While them other markets be
        dropping...
Johnny  Yeah, yeah, ours is going through the roof. See you soon.



[Andreas argues with Marta as she stirs a pot on the stove.]
Lizzy   Andreas, you piece of shit, leave the girl alone! She knows how I like
        it. You don't need to tell her shit... leave my...
[Johnny enters.]
Lizzy   Hey Johnny!
Johnny  Hey, what's happening?
Lizzy   Andreas... shut the fuck up!
[He shuts up and Marta speaks Spanish to Johnny.]
Johnny  Huh?
Marta   Eat?
Johnny  Oh, yeah...
Malc    Nah, nah, nah. We gotta go. Shit's gotta get done.
Johnny  Alright, some other time then.
Lizzy   No, I don't think there's gonna be another time, man. Shit's closing
        in. All these snitches all over the place. You fucking hear that on
        your wiretap, Andreas? You fucking hear that? Maybe you guys should get
        rid of him and sell this coke later, huh?
Johnny  Do you want us to take Marta off your hands? Look after her until the
        heat's gone?
Lizzy   You ain't getting your hands on my baby girl. You only got to worry
        about yourself and selling that coke. You don't gotta worry about me,
        and you don't gotta worry about her neither. Okay?
Johnny  Okay. Come on, let's do this.
Malc    Yeah, we out.
Johnny  Adios amigos.
Lizzy   Andreas gonna be waiting for you.
Andreas That's right. I'm gonna be waiting for you and you and anybody else who
        shows up, okay? 'Cause that's the way I roll.



Malc    We got to head up to Butterfly. This shit is going down up there.



Malc    How you like the feel of this, Johnny?
Johnny  I gotta say, I haven't seen Liz Torres that crazy before.
DeSean  Shit, I'd be good to go if I had some cooch like that.
Johnny  You think there's something going down with Liz and Marta? Shit.



DeSean  Let's do this! Uptown Riders featuring The Lost in a Bohan joint, baby.
Johnny  What are you talking about, man?
DeSean  Don't fucking listen to me. I'm just making shit up as I go along,
        baby.
Johnny  Aren't we all?



Malc    What up, kid. I got that package for you. [hands over the coke]
DeSean  Yeah, man, overnight express.
Guy     What? You been stepping on this shit?
DeSean  Fuck you. Test it and see. It's pure as punks like you gonna find.
Guy     Listen, you do your job... and let us do ours.
DeSean  Huh, whatever, man.
Guy     Go ahead, girl.
[She snorts some up.]
Guy     That fucking good?
Girl    Yeah, it's good.
Guy     So what you going to do about it?
Girl    I'm going to take it for our own!
[They aim guns at the bikers, the bikers aim back.]
Malc    I don't think so.
Guy     Well, you best change your mindset, 'cause this right here, man, is
        happening.
Girl    Yeah, motherfucker. [shoots Johnny's bike]
Malc    Oh, you fucked up now, bitch. [shoots the girl]
Johnny  Holy shit.
Guy     Yo, you see what you did? This shit's fucked up, man! [runs off]
Johnny  Fuck! God damn you motherfuckers!
DeSean  Gonna need that shit. [picks up the coke]
Johnny  My fucking bike, man!
Malc    C'mon, man, c'mon. Yo, c'mon, Johnny.





Johnny  That was a wild ride, Malcolm. Thanks for makin' room on that pussy
        pad.
Malc    Ahhh, always space for you, Johnny boy. Maybe we should get us a room
        together at the Jefferson Motel? I heard you and your brothers liked
        that hardcore hard rock bonding shit.
DeSean  Quit these flirtations, B.
Malc    A'ight, a'ight.
DeSean  We gotta take this shit back to Liz.
Malc    Right, right. Catch you round, Johnny. You wanna kiss your daddy?
Johnny  Whoa there.
Malc    Peace out.
Johnny  See you boys later.



Lizzy   Johnny. How'd it go? Do I hafve some bail money at least?
Johnny  Deal didn't happen. Buyer got smart. Pigs got involved. Our friends're
        heading back with the product.
Lizzy   Things couldn't get much worse here, you know. You know, these is tough
        times. You best stay away from me and Marta for a while. See you.
Johnny  Alright, baby. Just don't get freaked out if you see me rolling in a
        cop car. Weird times call for weird measures, Liz.



Johnny I heard your Hexer got messed up. call me and I'll get it fixed up and
will bring it to you.



Jones   Mr. Klebitz. How're things?
Johnny  Fuck off, man.
Jones   You know, Johnny, you should have thought about being more forthcoming
        earlier in our relationship. As it happens, others in your fraternity
        are not as loyal as you.
Johnny  I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Jones   You're about to see a close friend on the witness stand. Time's up,
        Johnny.
Johnny  I'll believe it when I see it, you tight-ass prick. Adios.



Johnny  Liz? You there?
Lizzy   Tiralo. Tira el perico. Oh shit. Flush that shit! Tira el perico! They
        coming, Johnny. They fucking coming right now, you know.
Johnny  Yeah, umm, good luck, Liz. Is Marta okay?
Lizzy   Ha ha ha. She's okay. Oh, we all good, baby. Ha ha ha. Bye bye.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ROMAN'S HOLIDAY (#ab2)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Baby. I need to see you. Get here soon. xx



Ashley  Johnny. You coming here or what, sugar?
Johnny  What you need, Ash?
Ashley  I can't really talk. Just come over to my place, okay. Hurry, baby.



Ashley  You're here. You're here. Oh man, Johnny!
Johnny  What's the matter, sugar?
Ashley  Oh, Johnny, I fucked up. I fucked up real bad.
Johnny  What'd you do?
Ashley  I messed up, baby. Promise you won't be mad?
Johnny  Why, what'd you do?
Ashley  I'm an addict. I need help.
Johnny  What the fuck did you do?
Russian You must be Johnny.
Johnny  Who are you?
Russian My name is not important.
Johnny  What is this?
Russian Your woman here owes Dimitri Rascalov a lot of money.
Johnny  Okay.
Russian We need you to do us favor.
Johnny  What?
Russian We need you to kidnap someone for us.
Johnny  Well, I'm not in the kidnapping business, dude.
Russian And I'm not in the dude business, dude. You either do it, or junkie
        gets killed. Not difficult decision, even for a man stuck in 1960s time
        warp. It's easy. You grab him and deliver him to warehouse off Lompoc
        in Bohan Industrial.
Johnny  And this'll pay off her debts?
Russian Well... it pays off interest.
Johnny  Wonderful.
Russian The name of the man we want is Roman Bellic.
Johnny  Yeah.
Russian He runs a cab business, but hangs around some backroom gambling place
        on Dillon Street in Schottler.
Johnny  I got it.
Russian You find him, you take him... Now, run along.
Johnny  Ashley, you gotta stop fucking things up... Fuck!



Johnny  Dude, you busy? I got something and I don't need it getting round the
        clubhouse. I'll owe you, brother.
Malc    What you need, Johnny?
Johnny  I need to snatch some guy, name of- uhh, Roman Bellic. Runs a cab firm,
        in debt to some Russians. You down? I'll pay.
Malc    Uhh, a'ight. I'm up on Y in Northwood. See you in a minute.



Johnny  Nice rice rocket you got there. It come with a fortune cookie?
Malc    As a matter of fact it did. Told me I was gonna meet some 1950s lookin'
        motherfucker who preferred rusty oil dripping junk to hi-tech precision
        machinery.
Johnny  Rusty oil dripping American junk.
Malc    Bitch, please... Your patriotism is making you ignorant. Anyway, we
        gonna go grab somebody. We need four wheels, I got that.
Johnny  Alright, man, but I'm driving the cage.
Malc    Now, you sure you know how?
Johnny  Watch and learn, my friend. Watch and fuckin' learn.



Malc    So, we got a plan, Johnny boy?
Johnny  Of course we've got a plan. We snatch this guy, deliver him to some
        other gys, then we pat ourselves on the back for doing a great job.
Malc    Sounds simple as shit.
Johnny  If you want a Wingit Presentation before every job you do, you're
        running with the wrong crowd.
Malc    Who is this guy? Why you want him snatched?
Johnny  I dunno. I'm doin' this as a favor for a friend.
Malc    Huh. Must be a good friend.
Johnny  It's complicated.
Malc    Oh, it's like that, is it now? She like your girlfriend or something?
        Nah, nah, that's cool. I'm feeling that. Things is coming together.
        Starting to make sense now.
Johnny  She ain't my old lady, alright?
Malc    Sure, sure she ain't. That's why you running all over town trying to
        snatch a fool up, huh? Please.
Johnny  She's a friend and she's in trouble. I believe in looking out for
        people you've been close to. You and your boys might ride, but you
        don't know nothing about brotherhood.
Malc    Shit. I know about brothers, but I know about bitches as well. And this
        here job - smells like a bitch to me. It got bitch-stink all over it,
        son.
Johnny  Thank God I'm hanging out with another two-bit street philosopher.
Malc    She playing you? She in trouble?
Johnny  I don't know. Both maybe. Fuck it. Shut up for a second. You know,
        Malc, I think you've got unresolved women issues. Were you close to
        your mother growing up? Did she let you down?
Malc    We ain't kidnapping nobody because of my momma, Johnny. It's your lady-
        friend getting us to do this. Think on that, son.



Malc    Roman Bellic? What the fuck kind of name is that?
Johnny  I don't know, Greek?
Malc    Sounds like it's Eastern European or some shit.
Johnny  Greek's in the east of Europe.
Malc    Yeah, that's what I said. Maybe Italian or Rome or some shit.
Johnny  All the immigrants you meet seem to be from Russia. What happened to
        the days when it was guys coming across from Mexico?
Malc    Or in your case, guys coming from a 1950s time warp.
Johnny  That's good, Malc. Real good.
Malc    Why are all you bikers racist, just like the Angels of Death?
Johnny  The Lost aren't like those Deadbeats. Take a look at my brothers, man.
        We're more like equal opportunity haters - we hate assholes and fools,
        wherever they're from.
Malc    Oh, wait. You hate me because of where I'm from? Man, that's cold. I
        knew you were a fucking racist. I fucking knew it. Stop the car.
Johnny  Malc, man, come on.
Malc    Yo, lighten up, Johnny boy. I'm just fucking with you, son.
Johnny  So, yeah, this guy we're snatching isn't the only European-type dude
        I've come across recently.
Malc    Is that a fact?
Johnny  Worked with this other guy, he could handle himself. Maybe this guy
        will be the same.
Malc    Most Europeans are gay, man. That's why they wear them tight-ass jeans.
Johnny  Is that a fact? I'll bare that in mind, Malc.



Roman   Hello, this is Bellic and Bellic Enterprises? What can I assist you
        with?
Johnny  Is Roman Bellic there?
Roman   Umm... I-... Mr. Bellic is very busy man. An important and busy man. I
        think he's on a hot date or something. What is it you need from him?
Johnny  We got two college co-eds over here and, they're in need of a limo, and
        I'm told this Bellic guy's the man for that kind of work.
Roman   Well, in that case I'll-... I mean, ah... We'll try to contact Mr.
        Bellic and have him come as soon as possible.



Roman   Ladies, ladies, ladies! You have got yourselves the best limo driver in
        the whole of Liberty City. I'll take you through the bright lights of
        Star Junction, past the glamorous shops of Middle Park West, and, if
        you're lucky, you might end the tour with a look at the finest specimen
        of manhood in the entire metropolitan area.
[Johnny and Malc approach with guns.]
Roman   Wait, where are the ladies? Who are you?
Malc    Get in the car, fat man. Your ass has just been snatched.
Johnny  Don't try nothing, chubby. It ain't like you're a difficult target to
        hit.
Roman   Help me!



Johnny  That's got to be him. Come on.
Roman   Hello.
Malc    Hey, yo man. How you doin'?
Roman   Please, gentlemen. The men in there just took my money. I can't get
        robbed twice in one day. What do you want, the shirt of my back? Come
        on.
Johnny  We're not robbing you, we're taking you. Your chips've been cashed,
        chubby.
[They drag him back to the car.]
Roman   No! Wait!
Johnny  Get in there and shut up!
Roman   Somebody! Stop! Somebody! Help!
Malc    Shut your fat ass up.



Johnny  We gotta take the fat man to a warehouse in Bohan.



Johnny  All you Europeans got the same fuckin' accent.
Roman   Please, please. I'll pay you anything.
Johnny  I think he's trying to say something, Malc.
Roman   I can get money, I promise.
Malc    I don't know, I ain't hearing shit.
Roman   Okay, okay. My cousin, he has money. He will pay you.
Malc    Oh, I get it. I think the man's trying to give us some money. We let
        him go and he'll come back with a bag full of unmarked twenties, right?
Roman   Yes, yes. Exactly, exactly.
Johnny  You mean, he's like, trying to bribe us?
Roman   Yes.
Johnny  I hope he knows that you and me are men of integrity, Malc, and that
        we'd find something like that real insulting.
Malc    Did you mean to insult us, Mr. Roman Bellic? I sure hope not.
Roman   Help! Help! Help me! Help me!
Johnny  Malc, tell this gentleman what my kind of people who try to buy their
        way out.
Malc    Just so you know who you dealing with, Mr. Bellic, this is one screwed
        up dumb redneck motherfucker.
Roman   Oh Lord. Please help me!
Malc    Hey now, listen. I do mean motherfucker in the most literal sense.
        Serious incest motherfucker. Fucking you up the ass with a barbed wire
        dick would be a pleasure for this man.
Roman   Lord, I am sorry for all the women I have chased, the money I have
        wasted, the internet porn.
Malc    Yeah, this biker dude is twisted as all hell, man. By the way, how many
        guys you killed, son?
Johnny  You mean, like, this year, or in my whole career?
Malc    A'ight, just this year, man. We ain't got time for all that shit.
Johnny  It's been a good year, you know?
Roman   Oh Lord, I apologize for sleeping with those twins.
Johnny  You should apologize for that smell. You shat yourself or something?
Malc    God damn.
Roman   Lord, I am sorry for shitting myself, and for laughing at Brucie's
        balls.



Johnny  You know, this ain't the first grungy European I've met recently.
Roman   Ahhhh, help me! Someone! I'm too young to die! Please!
Johnny  Shut the fuck up, you fat prick.
Malc    Yeah, shut the fuck up, ya heard?
Roman   Jesus, help me! Somebody help me!
Malc    Shit, J. Can you pop this motherfucker and shut him up?
Roman   Oh no, please!
Johnny  Can't you see I'm trying to drive here? You fucking pop him.
Roman   Help! Help! Help! Help!
Malc    Man, I just got me this nine. I don't wanna go puttin' no bodies on it
        already. But shit, I like this gun.
Roman   Why? Why?
Johnny  I'll buy a new one. Just shut this dude up.
Roman   I'll be quiet. I promise.
Malc    I told you, I like this gun. I ain't gettin' no bodies on it. Not
        today. And not this Rusty Brown's munching, quadruple Bleeder Burger
        eating motherfucker.
Roman   Help me! Help me!
Johnny  Just pop the fucker. And you can get the bullets outta him afterwards
        and no one's gonna trace that shit back to you.
Roman   No, no! Please!
Malc    Hell no, I don't wanna get my hands all dirty and shit. Get gravy all
        over my new manicured fingers.
Johnny  Man, can you smell that?
Malc    Dammit, dude done pissed his self. That shit ain't right.
Johnny  From the smell, it ain't just piss. I'm glad I ain't sitting back there
        with him.
Malc    Damn, you better not be right. What's wrong with you, man? We was only
        joshing you. Tell him, Johnny.
Roman   Huh?
Johnny  We're just meant to kidnap you. If you were meant to be going in the
        ground, you wouldn't be conversing with us gentlemen like this. Pull
        yourself together, man.



Johnny  Somebody looking for a fat Slav with a bladder problem?
Russian So... this is Roman Bellic? Not such a tough guy, eh? What is all this
        fuss about his cousin?
Johnny  Listen, buddy. Ashley is square with you now. So do me a favor, go easy
        on the fat man. I've seen some of the bodies you people drop in the
        Humboldt.
Malc    Easy, Johnny. You saw the shit stains in the back seat. He's scared
        enough.
Russian What happens to this shithead is none of your concern. You, come with
        me. [walking off with Roman]
Malc    Shit, Johnny. Yo, I gotta bounce. Be easy, man.



Ashley  Baby?
Johnny  Those Russians have got their guy. And you got lucky, but you got to
        control yourself, Ashley. The ice got you into this mess.
Ashley  I know I am, Johnny. And you know what's the best thing about me? You.
        Call me, okay?


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH (#rbo1)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Johnny  Ashley? What is it this time?
Ashley  Hey, Johnny boy. It's nothing. I mean, it's something, but, but it
        ain't like you think. I need you to meet a friend of mine - Ray
        Boccino.
Johnny  That guinea? Jesus, what you doing with him?
Ashley  We're not doing nothing, Johnny. Nothing we ain't supposed to. I need
        you to meet him is all. We're over at Drusilla's in Little Italy. Can't
        wait to see you, baby.



Johnny  What's up, baby?
Ashley  Nothing. Ray's a friend. He's...
Johnny  Ray's a friend? What are you talking about?
Ashley  Yeah, he's a friend. You know, he's a friend like you, baby. I mean,
        not like you, but- but, you know, we ain't- we ain't doing nothing. I
        mean, not at the moment, but- but he's a friend, and he's been- he's
        been real good to me, and we need you- we need you to do this for us,
        alright? I ain't sleeping with him. But, you know, you and me broke up.
        You was with that Leila girl.
Johnny  That's all over now, baby. You know that. Man, you gotta get off them
        drugs.
Ashley  I know. I will. I need you to do this for me.
Johnny  Let me talk to Ray first. Where is he?
Ashley  In there somewhere.
Johnny  Right.
[He heads inside.]
Ray     Hey, Johnny.
Johnny  Hey.
Ray     Am I glad to see you, huh?
Johnny  Ashley says you want something.
Ray     Ashley, uhh, good kid. Y'know, man, that ice. In my day, it was coke
        and downers. That was it. I even missed the Ecstasy. That shit fucks
        people up.
Johnny  Yup.
Ray     Listen, I've got a little business proposition for you.
Johnny  Oh yeah?
Ray     Okay, I know about some diamonds. Illegal. Never in the system. Easy to
        move. No insurance. Couple o' millions worth. Bought by wise guys, from
        wise guys, for wise guys. You understand? No tax man, nothing. Got our
        names all over them.
Johnny  Right.
Ray     Problem! I can't be seen near them. Alright, let's just call it a
        conflict of interests.
Johnny  Well, I imagine that happens quite often with you, Ray.
Ray     Oh yeah? You don't like me too much, do you?
Johnny  Does anyone like you too much?
Ray     I tell you what... You go do this job, go get yourself some real money,
        you can buy yourself some real friends?
Johnny  Yeah. I should do that.
Ray     The ice is being held by a guy named Gay Tony. You're gonna need a
        little help on this.
Johnny  Should be no problem with that.
Ray     Good. And stay in touch. Johnny! Don't get too clever.



Jim     Jonathan. What can I do for you?
Johnny  Brother James. We got a hook up in Broker. Might need some help.
Jim     Alright, man. I'll let The Lost brotherhood over there know you're
        comin'. They like getting as dirty as the rest of us.
Johnny  Appreciated, man.



Johnny  Alright, boys. All I know is that these diamonds are being held by a
        man about town called Tony Prince, and we're to take 'em. There should
        be a good profit in it for The Lost MC if this comes through, so let's
        fuckin' do it, yeah? Who knows, maybe down the line, there'll be an
        opportunity to rip off the smug guido who gave us the job in the first
        place. Come on! Brothers for life, Lost forever.



Johnny  Okay, my brothers. We're ripping off some guy with mob connections down
        by the docks. If these rocks are like I'm told they are, The Lost MC is
        gonna do real well outta this deal. Might even be able to extra some
        more money from the smug goomba bastard who gave us the job in the
        first place. Let's fuckin' do this thing. Hell yeah! Brothers for life,
        Lost forever.



Cook    [holding out the diamonds] Hey guys, how ya doin'? Err, so umm...
Tony    These are great, they're great. But uh... Two million? You had your
        head in the oven?
Cook    Mr. Tony, I have what I tell you. Perfect clarity. Beautiful clarity,
        well cut and a shit load of carats. What did you expect?
Evan    Tony, they're gorgeous.
Tony    Just like you.
[The bikers sneak toward the deal from behind some crates.]
Luis    Come on, can we do the hand over please and get out of here? This is
        too much.
Evan    Ignore him, he's probably been up all night with some bimbo.
Luis    Tony!
Tony    You're a chef?
Cook    Well, cook, yeah.
Tony    We have a line in some kitchen supplies, how about I throw that into
        the equation? What's the price?
Luis    Look, this the money we agreed upon, less ten percent. Just give us the
        ice.
Cook    Alright, alright!
Evan    Hey, Tony, can I hold them? [takes them] Thank you.
Cook    [receives money from Luis] Thanks.
Luis    [spots the bikers] Oh shit, Tony, we outta here!
[Tony and Luis run back to the limo. Evan splits right with the diamonds. The
bikers begin firing.]
Luis    Come on, let's go. Evan, get them to the club! And don't fuck about,
        okay?





Johnny  I got you that ice. You want me to bring it back to the restaurant?
Ray     I know you don't like me, Johnny, but you don't have to get clipped.
        Jesus, probably got half the wiseguys on the East Coast following you
        right now. I need you to split the haul up. Leave half in a trash can
        on Hematite Street and the other half in the trash on Emerald. Some of
        my boys are gonna go pick it up, all subtle like.
Johnny  Sounds real dumb to me, but if that's what you want done, I'll do it.
        As long as I get paid.



Ashley  What's going on, baby?
Johnny  I ditched the ice. It's in the trash now. Ray better hope a garbage
        truck doesn't come around anytime soon. Ray got any money for me?
Ashley  There ain't no money yet. Ray's got to sell this stuff before you get
        your cut. He'll be in touch, sweets. I love you, Johnny.
Johnny  Not enough, you don't.



Angus   Johnny? What's this I hear about you getting caught up with the mafia?
Johnny  Yeah, well, Ash... She introduced me to this guy.
Angus   That the same Ash you ain't seeing no more? The Ashley Butler who's too
        tweaked to know what's good for her?
Johnny  That Ashley, sure. I just want her to be okay so I ain't leaving her to
        die, you know.
Angus   Man oh man. What women can do to us. Don't get in over your head,
        Johnny. That mobster is cold as all hell. Look after yourself, man.
Johnny  Always. You too, man, you too.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 COLLECTOR'S ITEM (#rbo2)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Johnny  Raymundo.
Ray     John John. Ashley sends her love, yeah. You've got to give her another
        chance, you know. You kids are perfect for each other.
Johnny  Thanks for the advice, Ray. I was thinking the same thing about you and
        a coffin. You got that diamond money?
Ray     You're gonna have to work for it, friend. Hope you don't mind sweating
        a little. Handover's happening at the Libertonian. Just make sure my
        man Nicky walks away with half the money.



Johnny  Hey, alright man. How's it goin'?
Niko    Hey, good to see you again.
Johnny  Yeah likewise... Uh, let's hope this goes a little better than before,
        yeah? Come on, let's get inside.



Isaac   Gentlemen, gentlemen, pardon the precautions. You know how things are.
Niko    No problem.
Johnny  Let's do this.
Isaac   Okay, let's see the stuff, gentlemen. Mori, come over here.
Johnny  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Since we're having a little show and tell,
        let's see some money.
Isaac   Of course, no problem.
[Isaac sets down and opens a suitcase.]
Isaac   There it is. Beautiful, huh? Unmarked bills! No history, no need to
        launder.
Johnny  Good. Niko - show him the stuff.
[Niko holds out the diamonds.]
Isaac   Get in there Mori.
[Mori steps forward to inspect them.]
Mori    Isaac - look at them.
Isaac   Gorgeous, huh? Like condensed money.
Mori    Isaac - these are great.
[Luis appears at the window, guns down Mori.]
Luis    Rest of you motherfuckers wanna die - do something stupid okay!
Mofo    Fuck you! [aims shotgun up]
[Luis shoots the mofo and everyone scatters.]
Johnny  Just get the shit man. C'mon!





Jim     Brother Johnny.
Johnny  James. Where are you, man? I need to give you something.
Jim     Exeter on V. What's up?
Johnny  Wait there.



Jim     Hey. Whaddya got?
Johnny  I got all the money that diamonds can buy.
Jim     You mean all Ray's money?
Johnny  Fuck Ray, man. Fuck all of 'em here. [handing over the bag]
Jim     Yeah. Fuck 'em. I guess we're rich then.
Johnny  Hold on to it, brother.
Jim     You can bet your balls on it.



Ray     Okay, Johnny. Nicky tells me you got away with the money. Bring it to
        me.
Johnny  Niko said that? Dude, that's weird. Shit was kicking off. I don't know
        what happened to the money. I just wanted to get out with my life.
Ray     You better not be pulling nothing, Johnny. Or I'll start pulling your
        fucking teeth, you hear me?
Johnny  I like you, Ray. Still keep your humor in the midst of an almighty
        fuck-up. See you around.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 WAS IT WORTH IT? (#rbo3)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Meet me at Ray's.



Ray     Well, look who it is. Hey. How you doin', tough guy?
Johnny  What's your problem?
Ray     I told you not to get too fuckin' clever.
Johnny  What?
[Ray aims a gun at Johnny.]
Johnny  Aww, you gotta be kidding.
Ray     Start walking... downstairs.
Johnny  Okay, I'm going.
Ray     That's right.
[They head down to the basement, where a man is burning Jim with a blowtorch.]
Ray     Gentlemen.
Johnny  What the fuck is going on here?
Jim     Fucking hell! Stop that shit, asshole.
Ray     Anything yet?
Man     Nah.
Ray     Burn him again. Where's my fucking stuff? You see, genius over here
        would rather get creme-bruleed before he dies. Hopefully you ain't so
        stupid. Where's my stuff?
Johnny  I don't know what you're talking about.
Ray     Fuck you. [whips Johnny with the pistol] What are you, fucking deaf?
        Where's my fucking stuff?
Johnny  I don't know.
Ray     Who do you think you're bullshitting?
Johnny  A bull shitter. [laughing with Jim]
Ray     That's funny. [whips Johnny again]
Johnny  You're gonna have to cut that shit out, Ray. It's not fucking cool.
Ray     I fucked Ashley, my friend, and now I'm going to fuck you. Where's my
        fucking stuff?
Johnny  Fuck off, Ray!
Ray     [to the man] Go ahead.
[Jim cuts his hands loose, gets behind the man with the knife to his throat.]
Jim     Drop the fucking gun, goon.
Ray     No.
Jim     I'll cut him.
Ray     No.
[Johnny kicks the gun out of Ray's hands, and Jim picks it up.]
Jim     Back the fuck up, back up.
Ray     Go ahead, go ahead! Go ahead, run like a couple of girls. Billy was
        right about both of yous. Back-stabbing fools. Go ahead, I got guys on
        every corner. Where are you gonna go?
[Jim slits the man's throat and runs up the stairs with Johnny.]
Ray     Aghh! I'll see you later!
Johnny  I gotta go talk to Ashley.
Jim     I'm gonna go get the fucking brothers.



Johnny  Hot damn, baby girl. Your friend Ray ain't so friendly.
Ashley  Johnny K, you're alright. I'm sorry, sweets. I think Ray sent some guys
        after you.
Johnny  Of course he has, baby. Thanks for the heads up. Meet me outside the
        house, okay? I'll be there if I'm still walking.
Ashley  I'll wait, baby.





Johnny  What's going on?
Ashley  I'm sorry.
Johnny  For which bit?
Ashley  For everything. He told me everything. Me and Ray ain't friends no
        more.
Johnny  Me and Ray neither, sugar.
Ashley  Johnny, I got some bad news. Jim... He ain't...
Johnny  Oh no. Oh, man. Not Jim... Fuck this. Angus is crippled, Billy gone
        insane, now Jim's dead. I guess that's what they call payback.
Ashley  You got me.
Johnny  I don't got you. Crystal gone and got you, babe.
Ashley  Johnny, I'm gonna quit.
Johnny  Yeah, and I'm an idiot believing in your bullshit all this time.
Ashley  It ain't your fault.
Johnny  It's my fault I'm a fucking moron.
Ashley  I'm going to go to rehab, straighten myself out. Anyhow, he- he told me
        you wouldn't get hurt... I wouldn't have done it otherwise.
Johnny  Yeah, well why shouldn't I kill you?
Ashley  Why bother? I'd be better off dead. But Johnny, Ray ain't the problem.
Johnny  What are you talking about? Are you telling me that a backstabbing mob
        guy who wants to kill me ain't the problem?
Ashley  It's Billy. See, it's Billy. Ray... It turns out that Billy was trying
        to poison him against you, and now apparently Billy's going states...
        He's gonna- he's gonna blame you. I'm sorry.
Johnny  Well, what now?
Ashley  You gotta get someone to help you. Maybe that Congressman?
Johnny  Maybe. We'll see. Go on and get out of here.
Ashley  I love you, Johnny K.
Johnny  You're speaking a foreign language to me now, lady. Now get the fuck
        out of here.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 GET LOST (#ts3)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Johnny  I'm not in the mood to do any killing for the supposed elite today.
        You're gonna have to get your own hands dirty, Stubbs.
Stubbs  Oh, spare me the lectures. This is important, Jonathan. Important
        enough for me to come down from my ivory tower and rub elbows with you
        blue collar types on the wrong side of the West River. Meet me at your
        Clubhouse. I drink single malt.



Stubbs  Nice place you've got here, Johnny. Not quite sure I meet the dress
        code, but I think I like the smoking policy.
Johnny  What the fuck do you want?
Stubbs  Now, is that any way to treat a friend?
Johnny  Are we friends?
Stubbs  I think so. You've certainly seen me naked. You want a cigar?
Johnny  Do you wanna go fuck yourself?
Stubbs  Whoa, not particularly. But listen, your friend, Ray - don't worry
        about him.
Johnny  Why not?
Stubbs  Apparently he and a lot of his associates are under some serious
        observation and in the process of imploding. They'll either be dead or
        inside within a month or so. Best thing you can do - stay away from
        him.
Johnny  What about Billy Grey?
Stubbs  Yes. Well, you've got a bit of a problem there, sport. He's been
        talking inside. Thinks he can help pin a major drug dealing ring on you
        and your buddy in the chair. Thinks he's going into the Witness
        Protection Program, and if he collars you, you'll do fifteen years and
        he'll live in a condo in Arizona.
Johnny  Well, I don't doubt that, Mr. Stubbs, but he's on the inside.
Stubbs  I know.
Johnny  And there's currently very large walls and armed guards between me and
        him.
Stubbs  Yeah, well, you're a smart guy. You'll figure something out. If you get
        into trouble, you call me when you get tehre. I might have something to
        help you with it.
Johnny  Good, I'll need it. Hey, one more thing Stubbs... Why you doing this?
Stubbs  I told you I was good for a favor.



Johnny  Terry. Man, we got to pay our friend Billy a visit. He's been talking.
        Bring Clay, bring all the fucking firepower you got, and meet me at the
        Alderney State Correctional. I'm waiting.



Johnny  Well here you are, you fork-tongued bastard. I've been looking for you.
Billy   Hey Johnny, what are you in for? I'm not gonna ask how you got in here,
        brother. Jonathan Klebitz, my brother. Johnny the jew. Come on, man.
        You here to kick a brother while he's down? Johnny, man, what the fuck?



Billy   Check mate, dude. Come on, get it over with. Do it!
Johnny  I'm doing it!
Billy   What? You waiting for a speech or something? Come on!
[Billy rushes Johnny with a knife, Johnny shoots him in the chest.]



Johnny  Billy may have helped to build our club, but he sure as shit ripped it
        apart. I'll forgive him the insults and injuries, but I can't forgive
        him for that. Treacherous fucking bastard. He went insane.



Johnny  Terry, Clay, thanks for rolling with me. This gang is fucked all to
        hell right now, but I'll love you brothers until I die. Man, I miss
        Jim. He was one princely son of a bitch. The best thing this gang ever
        had.



Johnny  That shit needed to be done. Billy needed to be shut up. Funny thing
        is, five years ago he woulda lead the charge into Alderney State
        himself. Drugs sent that fuck insane.



Johnny  What the fuck is left of our chapter, boys? Dead bodies, burnt out
        brothers, and a clubhouse like a mausoleum. Fuck if I want it standing.
        It stands for bullshit, nothing more.



[The Clubhouse sits in ruins.]
Angus   Johnny.
Johnny  Hey.
Terry   Hey.
Angus   We had fun here.
Johnny  Yeah, we did. But it's over.
Terry   Yeah it is. How the fuck did that happen?
Angus   You know how it happens. It's that fucked up part of people which means
        good is never good enough. I mean it wasn't enough that we had to be
        drug dealers, we also had to be outlaws, to be maniacs, to be psychos,
        and to be greedy.
Terry   That combination of greed and fucked up stupidity, that works well. If
        you're in the government. Not so good if you're a fuckin' crook.
Johnny  Ain't that the truth. Go ahead... Let's put this place out of its
        misery.
Angus   Yeah, do what you gotta do.
Johnny  Come on, man. Let's get out of here.
[Johnny drives Angus down the front staircase, Terry starts the house on fire.]



Stubbs  Johnny?
Johnny  Congressman.
Stubbs  I see your problems have been resolved. Is it back to normal at The
        Lost Motorcycle Club?
Johnny  No, it ain't, Stubbs. You see, we got a set of codes that mean you
        can't keep on like nothing's happened after brothers turn on brothers
        and your world turns to shit.
Stubbs  My, my. A man of principles. Impressive, Klebitz. You must find Liberty
        City an awful place to live. Such a shame your values are more suited
        to medieval times.
Johnny  Yeah, well, I'd prefer to stand up for something then to chop and
        change and stab a friend in the back to get ahead. That's why I didn't
        become a politician. So long, sport.



Ashley  Didn't think I'd hear from you again.
Johnny  Didn't think I'd call you. You hear about Billy?
Ashley  Yeah, I heard. Look, Johnny. Look, have you got any money? I need forty
        bucks. I need it real bad, baby.
Johnny  Not this time. You can kill yourself on your own. Goodbye, Ash.



Johnny  Angus, man.
Angus   Chapter President.
Johnny  I'm president of a burnt out house and some broken ass brothers. It's
        dead, man, it's over.
Angus   What are you gonna do?
Johnny  I dunno. I'll probably keep sending money to Jim's old lady and her
        kid. I owe him that.
Angus   We all do.
Johnny  Beyond that, I'll probably try to cut my ties.
Angus   What about Ashley?
Johnny  Ashley? The ice got her good. I finally cut her loose in my head, man.
        I don't know what's left for her other than that need to fuck up
        everything around her. You've been a good friend, Angus.
Angus   You're a good man, Johnny. Things should have worked out better for ya.
Johnny  Well, things should be better for a whole heap of people. It don't work
        out that way, do it? Adios, amigo.



ashbutlerxxx@eyefind.info
Clean

Hey baby,
I checked into rehab again last week. I feel rough, but this time it's going to
stick, I know it.
Yours, Ashley.



Good luck Ashley. Please stay the fuck away from me.



I don't care, Ash. Stay away from me. Please.



ashbutlerxxx@eyefind.info
Shit

Johnny boy,
I fucked up. it weren't my fault. I got thrown out of the facility. it weren't
my coke. I love you, Johnny. I love you. drugs ain't shit. you're my drug.
Listen, Johnny, can I borrow some money, for a few days? I miss you. I miss you
so much.
Your friend,
Ash



Good luck Ashley. Please don't contact me again.



Fuck off!



angus@LostMC.com

Brother,
Well I guess that's that then. You did what had to be done. And that's why
you're a brother and why it's time to move on with our lives. End the charade
that this gang meant anything. Do it for Jim.
Ride safe,
Angus



World ain't what we thought it was, and people we trusted turned out to be
scum. I miss Jim. More than anything. He was the real deal. The man we all
wanted to be.



Fuck. We'll see, man. We'll see.


===============================================================================
 RANDOM CHARACTER ENCOUNTERS (#rndchar)
===============================================================================


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 MALC 1 (#malc1)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



[Malc is working on his bike.]
Malc    Hey yo, Johnny, give me a hand, man?
Johnny  Why, man, what's up? That hot import givin' you trouble?
Malc    Come on, man, I'm not in the mood for fuckin' jokes.
Johnny  Hey, take it east. I don't mean nothing by it.
Malc    My bust, man. I'm kind of stressed. My boy DeSean ain't showed and
        we're supposed to roll together. I think he's up in his girl's crib or
        something.
Johnny  Well, I can see how that could be annoying. I forgive you for your
        earlier aggressive manner.
Malc    I really fuckin' appreciate that, but what the fuck am I going to do
        now? I can't do this for self.
Johnny  Okay, I got it. I'll help a friend in need. Question is, you gonna be
        able to get that thing started?
Malc    Watch me. [starting it up] There she is. That's my girl. C'mon, man,
        she don't like to wait.



Malc    Follow me, man.



Malc    How about that? You and me just bumpin' into one another like that.
Johnny  Yeah, man. That's Liberty City for you.
Malc    For a big fat city, it's a real small place. [to phone] DeSean?... Shit
        man, I thought you was with Big D. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we on our way.
        [hangs up] Motherfuckers shot DeSean. You down to help me or what?
Johnny  I'm down. Let's go. You think DeSean's okay, man?
Malc    DeSean's a'ight. Probably only got hit with a nine. The fool's on the
        phone, right?
Johnny  You ever been shot at in one of those races, Malcolm?
Malc    Man, shit. I'm too far in front of these bitches to get shot.



Johnny  What we doin' on this run anyway?
Malc    We gotta go somebody about something, a'ight?
Johnny  Thanks for enlightening me.
Malc    [to phone] Yo, what?... Them rat bastards shot you? Shit, yo, don't
        worry. Me and Johnny's on the way. [hangs up] DeSean's been shot. We
        gotta help him. Can you follow me?
Johnny  Let's do it.
Malc    I guess we got a change of plans.
Johnny  Plans tend to change when someone gets shot.
Malc    I sure hope D's learnt how to hold his tongue. Last time he got hit, he
        couldn't shut the fuck up.
Johnny  Shit, Malc. You're real sympathetic to your friend.
Malc    The game is the fucking game, Johnny. You know that.



Malc    Shit, D. You don't look so bad.
DeSean  Yeah, they just grazed me. It's the principle, you know? They only
        meant to be using baseball bats in the race. I wasn't expecting no lead
        sligning.
Johnny  How about we hit 'em right back, man?
DeSean  Sounds good, Johnny.



Malc    I'm gonna lead you to 'em.



Johnny  So, I was wondering. What did they, like, ah, shoot you with?
DeSean  It was more like they shot at me. Them shotguns can't do nothing at a
        range. Only got a few pellets in my arm.
Johnny  Yeah, man. You really got to get up close and personal to make the most
        of them things.



Johnny  You ever turn a gun on someone in a race, man?
DeSean  I look like I need help? You don't need to shoot a guy who got a bat
        two feet up his ass.
Johnny  No, no, I guess you don't. Nice image, by the way. You just put me off
        corn dogs for life.



DeSean  That's them cheatin' punks. Yo, we gonna teach 'em something.



DeSean  Yeah, we just hit one out the park for fair play.
Malc    For sure, for sure.
Johnny  Well, gentlemen, I might excuse myself. See you soon, yeah?


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 MALC 2 (#malc2)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Malc    What up, Johnny boy?
Johnny  Hey, Malc.
Malc    It's all good. How'd them problems you were having work out?
Johnny  About the same as your bike.
Malc    What? You need to be easy, funny man.
Johnny  Lighten up.
Malc    Ah, man, shit. You think you got monster nuts. You know what? Pull 'em
        out, roll with me right now.
Johnny  Oh yeah?
Malc    No doubt. There's some serious cats on the other side of town looking
        for a race. And this ain't no pussy ass polite race, either. We gonna
        be scrappin' all the way. So what's up? You in?
Johnny  Yeah, I'm in. But you won't be if this hot import breaks down before we
        get there.
Malc    Man, shit.



Malc    See if you can keep up with an Uptown Rider.



Malc    Take this shit, yo. Smash a mother fucker good if you have to. [hands
        Johnny a bat] Remember not to shoot nobody. But you ain't gotta be all
        friendly up in this bitch.



Malc    Pretend like you're in the Liberty City Swingers, man. Knock 'em the
        fuck out. Remember guns ain't appropriate here, Johnny. Keep that shit
        to yourself.



Malc    A'ight, a'ight. Everybody get lucky once in a while.
Johnny  I was lucky to be born in the U-S-of-A, dude. I was lucky to be born
        after the invention of penicillin and the internal combustion engine.
        But that there race was pure skill. So long, buddy.
Malc    Peace out.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 DAVE (#dg1)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Johnny  Who are you?
Dave    Dave. Dave Grossman. I'm a friend of Billy's. We met at the Clubhouse.
Johnny  Friend of Billy's, huh? Well good luck with that.
Dave    Well, hey, I haven't seen him for a long time. But, hey, hold on, man,
        I need a favor.
Johnny  What? What am I, the mid-life crisis association?
Dave    Oh, look, I'm desperate, man. Take my watch, take my Fleeca. Take
        anything, man. I'm- I'm fu- fucking desperate! I'm dying here.
Johnny  Why's that?
Dave    I'm being blackmailed by my secretary. She's saying I touched her and I
        didn't do anything. She'll ruin my life, and I didn't do anything.
Johnny  That's unlucky, man.
Dave    Look, it would break my daughter's heart. She's saying that I looked at
        her tits, and because I did that, I suppressed her. She's a fucking
        moron. But my wife is not a kind woman. She'll get one whiff of this
        and she'll rip my life to shreds. I'm a lawyer and I'm getting
        ass-raped by the law. Can you imagine what that feels like?
Johnny  Mercifully not.
Dave    Look, all I need from you is to intimidate her lawyer. Just make him
        get her to back down, man.
Johnny  So you want me to go put the fear of the Lord in a lawyer? And you're
        going to pay me for it? Shit, Dave, why didn't you say so in the first
        place?
Dave    Ah, solid, man.



Lawyer  You better have a good lawyer, pal.
Johnny  Yeah? Well, in my books, the only good lawyer is a dead one.
Lawyer  Uhh... okay?
Johnny  Put the brakes on your case against Dave Grossman or you'll be one good
        fucking lawyer, dude.
Lawyer  Okay, I know when I'm beat, okay. Chill out, will you?


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 BRIAN (#bj1)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Brian   Johnny! Johnny K.
Johnny  Hey, I thought I told you to stay out of town?
Brian   I did. I left. I was a ghost. Seriously, Johnny.
Johnny  You were a ghost for like, five minutes, man. I told you to go
        permanently.
Brian   Come on, man. Don't be like that. We were all under a lot of pressure.
        And listen, I made some bad deicisions. But seriously, Johnny, you're
        the man.
Johnny  Uh, you were my brother, Brian, but you fucked shit up.
Brian   Come on, man. That ain't fair. That ain't fair.
Johnny  Really? But all the people that were killed, and all the shit we've
        been through, and the fact you and Billy are rats. That was fair? Just
        part of the game? Fuck you, Brian.
Brian   Man, it wasn't like that. Seriously. Billy, he fucked up. But me... I
        was just being a good soldier. Following my leader.
Johnny  Yeah, killing your friends.
Brian   Everything got out of control, seriously. You're my family.
Johnny  Get the fuck out of my sight.
Brian   You gotta come with me. I got to show you something. Billy, he
        controlled me. I'm so ashamed. I gotta come clean. Come with me,
        please...
Johnny  Fuck you, Brian.
Brian   I can help you save the club, man. Seriously. Then I'll leave town.
Johnny  Okay... but if you're fucking with me, I'm gonna put a bullet right
        through your fucking skull, Brian.



Brian   See if you can keep up, huh Johnny? Don't get lost.



Brian   [to phone] Hey, hey, you'd never guess who I bumped into... Johnny
        Klebitz... Yeah. We're coming to you. [hang up] I've been waiting to
        see you for a long time, Johnny. Ever since- ever since you paid me
        that little visit.
Johnny  That's nice, dude. I'm real touched.
Brian   Yeah. Nice one, Johnny K.



Brian   [to phone] Brother... Brother, brother, brother, brother, it's, uh,
        it's uh, Brian... Yeah. I got Johnny K from Alderney with me. We're
        coming to you. [hang up]
Johnny  What you been doing with yourself, then, Brian? Hiding under some rock?
Brian   "Hiding under some rock?" That's funny, JK, real funny. Yeah, I've
        been, you know, hanging out with some dudes. I miss Billy, you know.
Johnny  You sound kinda creepy, there, Brian. No, I don't mean to make fun. I
        really don't.



Brian   Heh heh heh. You didn't expect this one, did you? Fuck you, Klebitz-o-
        witz.




===============================================================================
 CONTACT INFO (#contact)
===============================================================================

If you have a question, a suggestion, a correction, whatever, feel free to
contact me. Add "GTA", "GameFAQs", or something relevant in the subject line,
Also, specify whether or not you want to be included in the credits and by what
name.

Email: InfernoDS@gmail.com
GFAQs: InfernoDragon
PSN: InfernoSD


===============================================================================
 CREDITS (#credits)
===============================================================================

Thanks to the following...

For developing this great game, Rockstar North.

For producing it, Rockstar Games.

For help identifying characters and various background infos, Grand Theft Wiki.


===============================================================================
 VERSION HISTORY (#version)
===============================================================================

0.00    4/29/10    Started the script.

1.00    5/17/10    All storyline missions complete, all random character
                   encounters complete.


===============================================================================
 LEGAL (#legal)
===============================================================================

This document is Copyright 2010 InfernoSD.

Although the dialogue contained in this document belongs to Rockstar Games, I
typed it out. This document may not be reproduced under any circumstances
except for personal, private use. It may not be placed on any web site or
otherwise distributed publicly without my permission. Use of it on any other
website or as a part of any public display is strictly prohibited and a
violation of copyright.

This script is hosted only at: www.gamefaqs.com

All trademarks and copyrights contained in this document are owned by their
respective trademark and copyright holders.