It's coming right for us! - Jimbo * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Tuxedo Jack ~ and ~ Craptacularly Spignificant Productions ~ present ~ Crimsonland 1.9.8: A Comprehensive Walkthrough! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Crimsonland. That's made by whoever made it. Pay your shareware fees. It's good karma. And you don't want that to run over your dogma, right? Only Gamefaqs may host this FAQ. Period. Well, it'll be hosted on Tuxedojack.com, since I wrote it, but that's kind of to be expected. This walkthrough covers Quest Mode only. Rush and Survival, as well as the secret type-teaching mode, need no walkthrough. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Introduction Welcome to Crimsonland. Who are you? Just your everyday lone soldier trapped in some godforsaken hellhole - and no, it's not Redmond this time - armed with only your body and a pistol unless you can pick up some better stuff. Welcome to hell. It's up to you to find the way out. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Version History 1.0 September 2, 2004 - Initial Release. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Table of Contents Subject Search Term 1.1 Italy 1.2 Wombat 1.3 Folk 1.4 Starfox 1.5 Bludger 1.6 Pandaren 1.7 Memorex 1.8 Gamecube 1.9 Playstation 1.10 Dreamcast 2.1 Castlevania 2.2 Mario 2.3 Hedgehog 2.4 Rainbow 2.5 Thief 2.6 Quake 2.7 Unreal 2.8 Tournament 2.9 Tablet 2.10 Macintosh 3.1 Hewlett 3.2 Packard 3.3 Compaq 3.4 Sony 3.5 eMachines 3.6 Apple 3.7 Lian-Li 3.8 Tandy 3.9 Radio Shack 3.10 CIN 4.1 Peter 4.2 Lois 4.3 Chris 4.4 Meg 4.5 Stewie 4.6 Brian 4.7 Quagmire 4.8 Cleveland 4.9 Joe 4.10 Loretta 5.1 Cloud 5.2 Barret 5.3 Tifa 5.4 Aerith 5.5 Aeris 5.6 Cid 5.7 Red XIII 5.8 Vincent 5.9 Cait Sith 5.10 Yuffie Hardcore Elephant Perk Listing Panacea Weapon Listing Placebo * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Quest Mode This mode unlocks everything cool in the game. If you want the good guns and stuff, play this before you play any other mode. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Quest Levels * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 1.1: Land Hostile Italy This is an easy level. As it's the first one, and nothing's unlocked, you'll start in the center with your pistol. Aliens - ten in all - will come at you from around the screen. At this point, just point and shoot. Don't worry about moving. You'll only need to reload once at the outside unless you really like to carpet-shoot everything. When this level is complete, you unlock the Assault Rifle and the next level. * * * * * 1.2: Minor Alien Breach Wombat Once again, center, pistol. Two greenies will spawn to your eleven o'clock position - kill them and get the Assault Rifle they drop. Greenies will swarm the left and right sides of the screen, but mainly the right. Dodge as necessary and empty a few clips into them. You'll note that the Assault Rifle is weaker than the pistol, but holds a lot more rounds and fires faster. One grey will come in from the bottom about two-thirds of the way through the round. Ignore him and focus on the greenies. Unload a full clip into the grey when the little guys are dead. If you get a perk - and you will - save it. You won't need them this early in the game. If you want to use them, however, try for Fastloader or Fastshot. You unlock the Shotgun and the next level. * * * * * 1.3: Target Practice Folk Just like the name implies. Blues spawn all around you. Stand where you are and use your pistol to take them out as they spawn. Don't move, don't get any powerups. Just aim and kill. You'll get a rather nice bonus with the Pistol. On average, you'll get two perks this level. You unlock Uranium Filled Bullets and the next level. * * * * * 1.4: Frontline Assault Starfox Shoot the three greenies that come at you from the bottom of the screen. Gather whatever weapon they drop - hopefully a shotgun - and proceed to eliminate the forty-eight greenies in this level. Two greys come up. Waste them with whatever you've got at hand and you unlock the next level. One perk here; leave it be. You unlock the Flamethrower. Kids love this one. * * * * * 1.5: Alien Dens Bludger start by shooting up the spawn point to your four o'clock. Waste the aliens coming out of that, get whatever they drop, and use it to take out the spawn - hopefully, it's a shotgun. Proceed to the upper-left and repeat the process. The next spawn is in the center. Eliminate the upper-right and lower-left spawns to finish the level. You'll unlock the Doctor perk. * * * * * 1.6: The Random Factor Pandaren Run to the right and eliminate the blues, then grab the gun. If it's not a shotgun, you're pretty much screwed. You're immediately swarmed by blues and greens. Four greys come in over the next few waves. Dispose of them as you get to them - the close enemies have more priority. You unlock the Submachine Gun and the next level. * * * * * 1.7: Spider Wave Syndrome Memorex As the name suggests, there are spiders. Lots and lots of spiders. Go left, kill, and grab the gun, then run back right. There are about eight distinct waves of spiders here; move in a circular motion around the edge of the screen, killing on the periphery as you go. If you need to, get Telekinetic as your perk here. You unlock the Monster Vision perk. * * * * * 1.8: Alien Squads Gamecube Run left, kill the first greenie you see, and get the gun, then run back. Kill _ANYTHING_ - don't just focus on one alien, unlike in a later level. The greens here don't die if you kill their leader greys. Kill them all, and you'll get the Gauss Gun unlocked. * * * * * 1.9: Alien Nests Playstation Spawners everywhere. Kill the bottom-right one and the rush of aliens near it, then snap up the weapon and rush for the middle and top-left spawns. Once those are dead, the aliens will rush from the bottom, and more spawns - three more - will arrive in the center. Kill them and complete the level. You unlock the Hot-Tempered perk. * * * * * 1.10: 8-Legged Terror Dreamcast Don't even think about taking this guy on with your pistol. It can be done, but you'd be an idiot to try. Instead, stay away from him and snap off a clip while you wait for his spiders to come in from the left. Kill them, get the gun, then take the boss out before turning your attention to the little guys. Kill them all indiscriminately. The boss takes the equivalent of a full shotgun clip (12 rounds) to destroy. You unlock world 2 and the mighty Rocket Launcher. * * * * * 2.1: Everred Pastures Castlevania Spiders, spiders everywhere and not a can of bug spray. Ah, well, that's what the guns you get are for. Rush left, kill, and get the gun. Unless it's a shotgun or SMG, you're screwed - unless it's the Rocket Launcher. Kill what comes near you. Clear only a space around you - don't even try to run on this map. The spiders come from all walls continuously, so running is useless. When you finish this level, you get the Bonus Economist perk. * * * * * 2.2: Spider Spawns Mario Nine spawns in total - four in the corners, one in the middle, and one on each corner of the middle. The non-center ones are small - two pistol shots do them. The center one requires a big gun. Get what you have. Kill the bugs indiscriminately. You unlock the Plasma Rifle. * * * * * 2.3: Arachnid Farm Hedgehog Three rows of spawns will form in rapid succession - at the top, at the bottom, and in the center. Take them out how you see fit, but just remember, you need a gun. And kill the bugs. You unlock the Thick Skinned perk. * * * * * 2.4: Two Fronts Rainbow Spawns will form in the bottom-right and top-left. Kill them, but not until you've upgraded your gun. Once you kill them, you'll be assaulted by huge waves of spiders from the left and aliens from the right, then spawns will form in the bottom-left and top-right corners. Kill as needed. You unlock the mighty Ion Rifle when you complete that. * * * * * 2.5: Sweep Stakes Thief You start with a Gauss Gun. This level plays just like Target Practice - stand still in the center, and spin and shoot where needed. The Gauss Gun will tear through the line of enemies with one shot wasting all four in the line easily. If you want, get Fastloader. It's not really needed. You unlock Barrel Greaser. * * * * * 2.6: Evil Zombies at Large Quake Kill the first thing you see and grab up the gun that it drops. There's tons of zombies left and right here, natch. They're easy to waste - most are white or blue, and they're weak. You'll find a big white one every now and again, but shoot it with a close-up blast and it'll fall. You _WILL_ be overrun at least once in this level. Get Fire Bullets or a Shield and hope you can find more, or use Bonus Economist and Fastloader. Most likely, you'll have a Shotgun for this level. After all, everyone knows that Chainsaws and Shotguns are the only good weapons to fight zombies with, right? You unlock the Mean Minigun. * * * * * 2.7: Survival of the Fastest Unreal You start with an SMG here, and my advice is this: get the hell out of the center as soon as you can. Waste the spawns that appear to the top in a row, then the right row, and then the bottom row. By this time, you'll have seen a Fire Bullets drop or have gotten a perk which increases your damage - Doctor and Uranium Filled Bullets is a particularly nice combination. After you kill the square of spawns that appear around the center (20 or so total), spawns will appear in the four corners. Kill them and their spawn, and the level ends. You unlock Ammunition Within. * * * * * 2.8: Land of Lizards Tournament A spawn appears to your upper-left. DON'T GO NEAR IT. The little red swarmers _will_ waste your ass. Hang back and kill the lizards that spawn, then pick up what they drop. The Rocket Launcher and Ion Rifle are particularly good here. Waste the little red bastards before you go near the spawn. The same rule applies to the spawns which quickly form in the bottom-left, top-right, and bottom-right corners - kill the red guys first, then go after the spawns. You unlock the Sawed-Off Shotgun. * * * * * 2.9: Ghost Patrols Tablet Don't shoot the brown guys. Aim for the orange ghost leaders, and when they die, the browns guys surrounding them go with them. You can complete the whole level with a damned _pistol_ like that. On the last wave, don't kill the green guy - the brown guys will overwhelm you. Go after the brown guys first, preferably with an Ion Rifle or Rocket Launcher, then take out the green guy when only ten or so are left and you've got space. You unlock Veins of Poison. * * * * * 2.10: Spideroids Macintosh These guys split. A lot. A weapon with splash damage is _necessary_ to survive here. Get something like a Shotgun, Rocket Launcher, Ion Rifle, or something to that effect. If a Shock Chain drops, get it as soon as you can - the damage it does to one spideroid is literally lethal. It will kill an entire Spideroid and _everything_ that splits off from it. Grab up Telekinetic and Bonus Economist. They're very useful here, and so are Shield and Freeze. Don't pick up a Mean Minigun. You'll die within ten seconds if you do. You unlock the Plasma Minigun. * * * * * 3.1: The Blighting Hewlett Spawns appear in the four corners, and waves rush from the sides, top, and bottom constantly - aliens and lizards. You will get rushed by little red guys too, so kill them and get what they drop. Hope that you get lots and lots of Freezes and Shields. You unlock Toxic Avenger. * * * * * 3.2: Lizard Kings Packard There's no rhyme or reason to this level. Lizards randomly spawn around you, and you've got to keep moving to stay alive. A Plasma Minigun or Ion Rifle is nice here. Some large lizards will kill you in one hit if you touch them. Run. You unlock the Multi-Plasma. * * * * * 3.3: The Killing Compaq Move. It doesn't matter where; aliens and spiders and lizards all rush, coming from the right, then left, then bottom and top. Nine spawns then form in groups of three. Kill them, and nine more form on the other side of the field. Once all eighteen spawns are dead, the level ends. You unlock Regeneration. * * * * * 3.4: Hidden Evil Sony I have only two words to say here: invisible enemies. Red aliens on a damned red ground equals you're screwed. Even worse, the little guys that show up later move slowly. You _WILL_ use Monster Vision to clear this level. You unlock the Seeker Rockets. * * * * * 3.5: Surrounded by Lizards eMachines Literally that. The spawns appear around you in two lines, then along the top and bottom. Rocket Launchers and Shotguns are especially good here, as are Shock Chains. Needless to say, take out the spawns first. If you're lucky, you can get a few with your pistol before you need a better gun. You unlock Pyromaniac. * * * * * 3.6: The Lizquidation Apple Move right, kill the red guys, then get what they drop and hope that it's a Plasma Minigun, Ion Rifle, or Rocket Launcher. If not, a Sawed-Off works just fine with a few Freezes and Fire Bullets. Lizards rush from everywhere and completely randomly. Just keep moving and shoot ahead of you. You unlock the Blowtorch. * * * * * 3.7: Spiders Inc. Lian-Li Spiders rush in groups of three, four, and five from the bottom and top, then they just rush. Know where you're moving and shoot accordingly. You will need at least Fastloader and Fastshot to clear this, though Barrel Greaser and Long-Distance Runner combined with a Freeze/Reflex Boost or two are acceptable alternatives. At least you start with a Plasma Minigun so you've got half a chance. You unlock Ninja. * * * * * 3.8: Lizard Raze Tandy Three spawns form on the top-left. Kill them quickly, and even with a Mean Minigun, the rest of the level's a piece of cake, as there's just tons of lizards rushing from the sides. You unlock the Rocket Minigun. * * * * * 3.9: Deja Vu Radio Shack Target Practice all over again, but this time with rows of spawns. You, fortunately, have a Gauss Gun instead of a pistol. If you miss, though, you _will_ be overrun. Fastloader helps a lot here. You unlock Highlander. * * * * * 3.10: Zombie Masters CIN Four blue zombies spawn, and these babies take two full shotgun clips _each_ to get rid of. They also have a nasty habit of spawning a white zombie twice a second or so. Fortunately, these spawned zombies are not nearly as damage-resistant, and you can kill them easily for powerups. Plasma Miniguns and Rocket Launchers are nice, as are Shock Chains, Freezes, and Shields. If you can, get up close with a Shotgun and pump a clip into them - they may or may not go down after one full clip. You unlock the Jackhammer. * * * * * 4.1: Major Alien Breach Peter Just what it says - a big-ass group of aliens rushes you from the top and right sides, and you have to keep moving to stay away from them. Shock Chains and Ion weapons excel here, as do Rocket Launchers (_NOT_ Seeker Rockets) and Multi-Plasmas. You unlock Jinxed. * * * * * 4.2: Zombie Time Lois Zombies, zombies everywhere, and not a chainsaw in sight. Ah, well. Make do with what the first wave of zombies (left side) drops - Shotguns, the Jackhammer, Ion weapons, and Rocket Launchers tear Zombie flesh here. Shock Chains, as always, work wonders, as do Nukes. You unlock the Pulse Gun. * * * * * 4.3: Lizard-Zombie Pact Chris Three groups of six spawns form, and groups of zombies rush you from each side. However, you start with a Rocket Minigun, so things are evened up a bit. Freezes and Shock Chains will tear up enemies left and right, as will Fire Bullets (if you change your gun) and Nukes. You unlock Perk Master. * * * * * 4.4: The Collaboration Meg There is no real strategy to this level, as you're constantly rushed from all four sides by all four kinds of aliens - zombies, aliens, lizards, and spiders. Just run, run, run. All manner of shot-enhancing perks help a lot here, especially Fastloader. In terms of weapons, hope you get Ion weapons or a Rocket Launcher. If you can, Freeze the enemy or Shield yourself, then drop a Shock Chain on them in order to ensure maximum damage. Nukes are nice, but if you've got a Shield... You unlock the Plasma Shotgun. * * * * * 4.5: The Massacre Stewie It's not called this for the sheer number of zombies that bear down on you from the right side all through the level. No, it's called "The Massacre" since little red enemies rush you like nuts randomly through the level, and you'll most likely be overwhelmed once or twice. Try to get an SMG and Fire Bullets, as that'll clear out tons of things. If you can't get that, get a Shotgun to take care of the red guys. Nukes and Fastloader are pretty much your only salvation here other than Freeze and Shield. You unlock Reflex Boosted. * * * * * 4.6: The Unblitzkrieg Brian Kill the small spawn to your upper-right for a gun, then grab what you can and go after the spawns which form around you in a square - TWICE! - and hope you don't get overwhelmed. Fastshot, Fastloader, and all upgrading perks are necessary here. In terms of bonuses, hope you get Nukes and Fire Bullets. If you get the Pulse Gun, start hoping that you get Fire Bullets - that can really bail you out late in this level if you get overwhelmed. As always, Ion weapons and the Rocket Launcher work very nicely here in conjunction with Freezes and Shields and Bonus Economist. You unlock the Mini-Rocket Swarmers. * * * * * 4.7: The Gauntlet Quagmire This is a damned hard level, and all I can say is this - GET THE HELL OUT OF THE CENTER. Spider spawns form around you in a circle. Kill one of the spiders, then pick up what it drops, and hope that you can get Fire Bullets fast, as that and a rapid-fire gun are the only way you're going to beat this level. After you kill the first circle, a second circle of spawns form around it. Oh, and you've got zombies rushing you from all sides to boot, too. Fastshot, Fastloader, and Fire Bullets save your ass offensively. Defensively, Freezes, Shields, and Nukes all the way. If you're lucky, get the Pulse Gun and Fire Bullets, plus a Weapon Power Up. That'll raze the whole damn field. You unlock Greater Regeneration. * * * * * 4.8: Syntax Terror Cleveland Spawns form randomly around the field, and they will overwhelm you. After you kill them, more form - about thirty in all. However, if you get Telekinetic and Ammo Maniac, you can finish this level with a Mean Minigun. Fastloader, Hot Tempered, and Bonus Economist are your friends here. Shields, Freezes, Nukes, and Ion weapons kick ass, and don't forget about the Mean Minigun as well as the Plasma Shotgun. You unlock the Ion Minigun. * * * * * 4.9: The Annihilation Joe Two sets of spawns form along the right side, two rows at a time for a total of twenty spawns or so. Fortunately, they don't spawn often, and if you get a decent weapon - a Shotgun will do it - and Fire Bullets/Weapon Power Ups, you can easily decimate them. A new set of spawns forms, but repeat the process to easily handle this level. You unlock Breathing Room. * * * * * 4.10: The End of All Loretta This level, while a pain in the ass, is _not_ the end of it all. Kill the spitting red ant to your top-left, then to the top-right, then to the bottom-left, then focus your attention on the spawns - the red one in particular, as it spawns spitting ants. Kill that as soon as you can. The white spawns should be killed as soon as you can, but do keep in mind that more red ants are coming, and the spawns create aliens left and right. A total of about fifteen spawns generate, and they're quite troublesome to get rid of. You unlock the Ion Cannon. * * * * * 5.1: The Beating Cloud Let me preface this: God, I hate this freaking level. Kill the yellow guy for an SMG. Hope to god that you level quickly, because you're going to want Death Clock and Radioactive to survive this level on Hardcore. Once you level, wait until tons of enemies are near, then choose Death Clock as a perk and then Radioactive. Stay in one spot, killing the greens and greys, then once they're dead, go kill the blues at the bottom, then the browns at the top. Hopefully, you'll see "Level Completed" before the clock runs out. Anything helps here, Nukes especially. If you get an Ion Cannon, just forgo that strategy entirely and get ammo-increasing perks. If you're on normal mode, aim for the Greens and hope for Shields and Nukes. You unlock the Ion Shotgun. * * * * * 5.2: The Spanking of the Dead Barret Kill both yellow guys for SMGs, then keep moving, as zombies will continuously spawn randomly around the screen. Kill them as you can. Fire Bullets are a big help here, as are Nukes and Shields. You unlock Death Clock. * * * * * 5.3: The Fortress Tifa A line of white spawns appear on the right, then a literal fortress of big-ass spawns appear up top - twenty-three in all. Use whatever you can get to take out the fortress first, then go after the white spawns. Ion weapons and Shock Chains rule over all here, though Rocket Launchers are quite nice too if you can get one. If you do get the Ion Cannon, make sure you get Ammo Maniac and Fastloader as fast as you can. You unlock My Favorite Weapon. No, seriously, that's the name of the perk. * * * * * 5.4: Gang Wars Aerith Waves constantly hammer you from the left and right. At least they're only wimpy aliens and not spitting spiders, eh? Around halfway through, you get waves coming in from the top and bottom to balance things out. Ion weapons are nice here, but they still don't beat the Mean Minigun or Plasma Minigun. You unlock the Gauss Shotgun. * * * * * 5.5: Knee-deep in the Dead Aeris Green zombies will rush at you from the left. Kill the white zombies behind them to get a gun - which, more often than not, is the Ion Cannon - and blast away at the greenies, which take a whole pistol clip to kill. As long as you keep moving and land mass hits into the whites that constantly swarm from the left, the few greens that spawn shouldn't be a problem. Just remember to get ammo powerups and Nukes/Shields. You unlock the Bandage. * * * * * 5.6: Cross Fire Cid Rush right, kill the blue spiders, and get whatever you can pick up from them, the rush left and kill the two groups of spitting spiders that spawn there. After that, treat the level like Spideroids, especially since two splitting spiders spawn in the center of the map. Ion Cannons work _WONDERS_ here, as do Shock Chains and Nukes. Shields and Fire Bullets are good too, as are most rapid-fire and area-damage weapons. You unlock Angry Reloader. * * * * * 5.7: Army of Three Red XIII Treat this level like Ghost Patrols, except that the white guys are a lot tougher. At the end of the level, 6 whites and their followers will spawn at once - three at the bottom, three at the top - and if you get a Shield, lure them to the center, then kill them all in one shot. Gauss Guns are great here, as are Shields. Freezes, for once, suck. You don't unlock anything. * * * * * 5.8: Alien Blues Vincent Blues swarm you from the left and bottom - all kinds of blues. Lizards, aliens, spiders, everything. There's no real strategy to this level - just hope you can cause mass damage easily and quickly, because otherwise you're screwed. Shock Chains and Ion weapons rule here, though the Gauss Shotgun can do a fair bit of damage too. You unlock Ion Gun Master. * * * * * 5.9: Nagolipoli Cait Sith Spiders form around you in two circles, then lizards swarm from the four corners. Here's where you have to get Shields, Freezes, Nukes, or an Ion Cannon to live. I'm serious. There are more enemies here than anywhere in the game. Once you deal with the lizards, spawns form on both sides, and spitting-spider spawns form at the top-center and bottom-center. Deal with them first, then take out the little spawns. Ion Cannons and Shields plus Nukes are your salvation here. You unlock Stationary Reloader. * * * * * 5.10: The Gathering Yuffie Spideroids, Cannon Spiders, and Zombie Masters are all here. You better get something like a Gauss Shotgun or Ion Cannon to live through this. You'll have enough experience to get _every_ unlocked perk. My advice: find and keep a Gauss Shotgun or Ion Cannon, then do every single ammo-increasing perk, and do it quick. Shock Chains work on the Spideroids and Zombie Masters, but the Cannon Spiders need heavy artillery. Just when you think it's over, more Cannon Spiders and Spideroids spawn from the left and right sides respectively. Ow. There's really nothing else to say, except run and gun, run and gun. You unlock the Plasma Cannon and Hardcore Mode. If you're playing this on Hardcore, you unlock the Splitter Gun, which is the only gun that kills you when its shots hit you. * * * * * Hardcore Mode Elephant Just treat the levels the same, except for the fact that you need a crapwad more ammo and a hell of a lot more powerful guns. Ion Cannons/Rifles/Miniguns/Shotguns are needed for a lot of the high levels. Gauss Shotguns will suffice in some areas. * * * * * Perk Listing Panacea Bloody Mess More blood, more experience - 30% more, to be exact. The SMG and Pulse Gun are best for this perk. Sharpshooter Laser sight and perfect accuracy. Great for the Gauss Gun, but not much else. Fastloader Just what it says. Critical for cannons. Lean, Mean Experience Machine It auto-generates experience points. Useless. Long-Distance Runner A permanent Speed powerup. When combined with a Speed powerup, you go unbelievably fast. Pyrokinetic Look at things, set them on fire. It doesn't burn fast enough to be useful. Instant Winner 2500 experience. Completely useless, as that won't even buy anything but one level - and that's only level 2. Grim Deal Completely useless - and it kills you to boot. Alternate Weapon You get to carry two guns and switch with the reload key. Just make sure you've defined the Reload key first. Plaguebearer A disease from you infects monsters and does damage. Not as good as Radioactive and a shield. Evil Eyes Monsters freeze when you look at them. Not bad, but only works on one, not a line. Ammo Maniac +20% ammo per clip. Get this as soon as you can on most maps. Radioactive Damages anything within a small radius of you. Very nice if you get a shield and sit still, thus letting monsters swarm you. Fastshot Doubles your firing speed. Good, but make sure you get Fastloader to match. Fatal Lottery 1-in-2 odds for either gaining death or 10K experience. Ignore this. Random Weapon Useful for last-ditch situations when you can luck out and get a cannon, but ignore it otherwise. Mr. Melee Useful for if you have a shield or Death Clock. Ignore it otherwise. Anxious Loader Clicking speeds up reloading. Not really that useful, and you've got the mouse button held down anyways. Final Revenge If you die, a nuke goes off on your corpse and kills whatever attacked you. Telekinetic Pick up remote bonuses by holding your target cursor over them for a second or so. Get this as soon as you can. Perk Expert Enables additional perks and shows one more perk on the list of choosable perks when you level up, so 6 would show instead of 5. Unstoppable You don't stop if you're hit. Useless. Regression Bullets Shots on an empty clip drain experience. Avoid this at all costs. Infernal Contract You're stripped down to one-hit damage, but you get three perks in exchange. Only use this on The Beating, and only if you didn't get Death Clock on Hardcore. Poison Bullets Your bullets poison the enemy, which then takes damage over time. Nice if you've got a wide-spray weapon. Dodger You dodge hits. Get this as fast as you can. Bonus Magnet More bonuses drop from corpses. Get this. Uranium Filled Bullets Your bullets do a lot more damage. Get this, but it's not that important. Doctor You can see enemy health and you do more damage, especially with Shotguns and Jackhammers. Get this, but it's not that important. Monster Vision Monsters glow in a yellow aura. Critical for Hidden Evil, useless everywhere else. Hot Tempered Occasional Fireblasts erupt from you. Get this, but it's not that important. Bonus Economist Powerups last twice as long. Get this fast. Thick Skinned Lose 1/3 of your health and gain 33% damage reduction. Not worth it. Barrel Greaser Doubles bullet speed and increases damage. Get this as soon as you can. Ammunition Within Shots on an empty clip cost health. Avoid this at all costs. Veins of Poison The enemy that attacks you is poisoned. Nice, but not useful. Toxic Avenger A stronger Veins of Poison. Nice, but not that useful. Regeneration Heals you over time. Get this as soon as you can. Pyromaniac Fire-based weapons (Blowtorch, Flamethrower) do more damage. Ignore this. Ninja A more powerful Dodger. Get this as soon as you can. Highlander Invincibility, but with a 10% chance of dropping dead instead of living when you're hit. Ignore this. Jinxed Random things happen near you. Get this, but it's not that useful. Perk Master A stronger Perk Expert. Requires Perk Expert to have been selected. Reflex Boosted The game slows down by 10% so you can better focus and move. Get this as soon as you can. Greater Regeneration A stronger Regeneration. Get this as soon as you can. Breathing Room Lose 2/3 of your health and every living thing on the screen dies. Ignore this unless you're completely screwed. Death Clock Invincibility for 30 seconds - then you die. Only useful on Hardcore's "The Beating." My Favorite Weapon +2 ammo to your clip and no more random weapons. Useful only on cannons - especially the Ion Cannon. Bandage Up to +50% health is restored. Angry Reloader When you reload, a Fireblast shoots out from your body. Get this as soon as you can. Ion Gun Master Ion guns get increased damage and splash range. Get this as soon as you can. Stationary Reloader Stand still and your guns reload three times faster. Get this as soon as you can. * * * * * Weapon Listing Placebo Pistol Standard 9mm pistol. Upgrade as soon as you can. Fast reload. 12-round clip. No recoil. Assault Rifle Fires 9mm rounds. Upgrade if possible. Fast reload. 25-round clip. Medium recoil. Shotgun Medium reload. Flak does little damage at range. 12-round clip. Sawed-Off Shotgun Medium reload. Flak does little damage at range. 12-round clip. Far better at close range for splash than a regular Shotgun. Submachine Gun 30-round clip. Very nice gun, wide spray. Weak ammo, though. _Fast_ reload. Gauss Gun 6-round clip. High damage, but only one shot, and light recoil. Medium reload. Mean Minigun 120-round clip. High damage. High recoil. Long-ass reload (4 seconds). Not recommended for mob situations without Power Up and Fire Bullets. Flamethrower Short-range fire weapon. Little spray. Medium reload. 30-round clip. Plasma Rifle Short reload. 20-round clip. Medium damage, medium recoil. Multi-Plasma Fires five plasma shots in a modified E pattern. 8-round clip. Medium damage, no recoil. Short reload. Plasma Minigun Medium recoil. 30-round clip. Fast reload. Medium damage. Rocket Launcher High damage, high splash damage. 5-round clip. Fast reload. Zero recoil. Ideal weapon for dealing with clusters. Seeker Rockets Medium damage, no splash. 8-round clip. Fast reload. Zero recoil, but the rockets can't find targets worth a damn. Avoid this gun. Plasma Shotgun Very high damage. No recoil. Slow reload. 8-round clip. Blowtorch Short-range fire weapon, high damage. 30-round clip. Fast reload. Avoid this weapon at all costs. Mini-Rocket Swarmers 5-round clip (fires all at once). Medium reload. Medium damage. Avoid at all costs. Rocket Minigun Medium damage, 16-round clip. Medium reload, no recoil. Pulse Gun _VERY_ fast rate of fire. Zero recoil. Zero reload. 16-round clip. Medium damage. This gun fires continuously and at a high speed; get Fire Bullets with this and you can wipe out an entire field of enemies with no effort at all. Jackhammer Modified high-speed shotgun. 16-round clip. Zero recoil. Slow reload. Flak does little damage at range. Ion Rifle Medium splash. Fast reload. 8-round clip. No recoil. Ion Minigun Medium splash. Fast reload. 20-round clip. No recoil. Ion Cannon _FREAKING HIGH_ splash. Slow reload. 3-round clip. Zero recoil. Massive damage within a large radius. Can be enhanced with Ion Gun Master. This is arguably God's gun in this game. It is virtually impossible to lose if you have it. Plasma Cannon Little splash, _LONG-ASS_ reload. 3-round clip. Zero recoil. Avoid if possible. Gauss Shotgun A set of Gauss guns in shotgun form. Massive damage over a large area of the field. Can literally decimate an entire swath of enemies with one shot. High damage, medium reload. 4-round clip. High recoil. Ion Shotgun Medium damage, medium recoil. 8-round clip. Zero recoil. Not really that useful. Splitter Gun Projectiles split into 2 when they hit an enemy. Great for groups. Shots will kill you if they hit you. High damage, high splash. 8-round clip. No recoil. * * * * * September 2, 2004 Tuxedo Jack